February put me on my knees at the feet of Jesus Christ.
Competency took a real hit this month. This was the month of homework room and being overwhelmed and feeling spread thin and completely incompetent. But it's cool because Jesus was faithful through it all. And I learned a lot.
Dropped my phone in a toilet. It sat in rice for two days. I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE LIBERATED. It was like *that moment when you take your bra off* for 48 hours straight. And I'm convinced that God let that happen so I could remember what's important in life. It worked.
One evening Julia and Lauren came over and we had Kid's Cuisine TV dinners on the couch while watching Friends just for the novelty of it.
San Luis Obispo might be the most beautiful place in the world. I literally just drive around this town going "woooooooowwwwww". The hills could not be greener or more magnificent. Soooooo Psalm 23. AND I LIVE NEXT TO A LAKE. WHO GETS TO LIVE NEXT TO A LAKE IN COLLEGE.
We have a new part-time roommate, a golden retriever named Maggie. She's my everything. I love her even though she manages to put her butt hole on the two square inches of my WHITE BEDSPREAD that I don't have covered with dog blankets. And even though she sometimes catches me off guard and slips her tongue in my mouth. Also idk if you've ever heard a dog audibly fart before, but I heard it for the first time in 21 years. TWO OF EM. Two squeaky dog farts. My love for Maggie grows deeper and deeper every day.
I think I'm becoming an adult. Made my first real resume last month. Bought my first business casual outfit this month. HI WAS SOMEONE LOOKING FOR A COMPETENT WOMAN TO HIRE?????????
I've cried four times this week thinking about the time a Russian cat skid marked on the leg of Julia's only pair of clean mint jeans.
So anyway. Here's 2 of the 67 things I learned about life and Jesus this month. . .
It's not our job to close doors, it's just our job to walk through open ones. SO I'M WALKING ON THROUGH THOSE OPEN DOORS. I said yes to an interview for local YoungLife staff and emailed some people in Nicaragua. Vamos a ver you know what I'm sayin? Lol you guys this time of life is so funny. NO ONE HAS ANY IDEA WHAT THEY'RE DOING. It's funny as hell. Like there was about a month after returning from Chile where I thought it was stressful that we're all floundering idiots but now I just think it's hilarious.
If I'm genuinely pursuing Jesus, what I do doesn't matter. With lots of the future unknown and lots of ideas for what I could do next, my natural reaction is to PANIC. What if I don't choose the right path. What if God needs me over here but I go over there. What the eff is God's will for my life. HELLO. If we are doing God's revealed will, or what God clearly tells us to do, (love Him and love his people), we will accidentally do his unrevealed will. So Ima just keep on loving the Lord and my neighbor and trust that I'll be right where God wants me. Thanks to reading the Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozier, I'm realizing that literally everything EVERYTHING falls second to personally knowing God and seeking his face. If I'm doing that, loving people and doing "God's work" is just gonna be a natural consequence of my relationship with Jesus. So it's not my job to worry about what that might look like. I now plan on writing a novel to complement Tozer's titled Jansen's Hot Pursuit of the Lord: A Response.
So there's probably the most vague description I could ever give you of what happened this past month. Going to Colorado now. Bye everyone.
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