#girlgoneYLd in Chile

Hi everyone. This is just a shameless post about Young Life and nothing more. 

There's probably gonna be a lot of Young Life jargon so I'm really sorry if you're a little lost. Plz feel free to forward all questions/comments/concerns about Jesus, Young Life, or about what my bowel movements have been looking like lately to jessicarosejansen@gmail.com. I'm serious. THX 4 UNDERSTANDING.

This weekend I visited the Young Life folks in a town called Rancagua, an hour south of Santiago. I showed up in Rancagua on Friday afternoon only having ever talked to the area director (Gabriel) via Facebook. He came to the bus station and picked me up and took me out to lunch with his wife and kid. THEY REFUSED TO LET ME PAY FOR MYSELF because they claim that they invited me out which ISNT EVEN TRUE because I LITERALLY INVITED MYSELF to come visit. Then we picked up some club supplies, grabbed another leader and went to the first club (Wyldlife). It wasn't a typical club because they were celebrating two birthdays so it was just hanging out with a short club talk and EMPANADAS OF COURSE. Next we went to the Young Life club but showed up late so I was only there for the end of the game and the talk (about the Prodigal Son, my favorite). As we approached the clubhouse Gabriel proceeded to tell me, "Oh ya, Jess. This is the most dangerous street in Rancagua. It's the poorest and has the most drugs. One time we were having a leader meeting here and we heard gunshots and there was someone dead on the corner." AND THIS IS THE NEIGHBORHOOD WHERE YOUNG LIFE HAS THEIR CLUB. Classic. After club we fit 7 adult humans and 1 toddler human into Gabriel's small Kia car and drove to Telepizza. The pizza had corn on it so that's new. Finally at midnight I got punted at one of the Wyldlife leader's house. I felt like a 10-year-old getting dropped off for a sleepover. And turns out that the sleepover was in HEAVEN. I literally slept in a house full of angels. Cecilia and her husband both work. And they are both Wyldlife leaders. And they currently have two Cuban immigrants living in their house because they had nowhere else to go so they opened up their home. And they kicked their daughter of her room so I could stay there and their daughter was happy to do so. And she offered me all the fruit and water in the world and told me to treat their home like my own. And then she friended me on Facebook and posted on my wall wishing me sweet dreams AGAIN after I'd already gone to bed. JESUS IS ALIVE IN RANCAGUA, CHILE YA'LL. 

Gabriel and his family came over the next morning and desayunared with me and we all talked more about Young Life and life and Jesus and cultural differences and everything under the Chilean sun. Some v interesting stuff worth sharing:

• Young Life in Chile accidentally got started because there was a guy in Rancagua that loved Jesus and was hanging out with the troubled youth in town. Then that guy went to Nicaragua and found out about Young Life there and realized OOPS THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING LOL. So then he came back and officially started YL in Rancagua. A few years later Gabriel and his family took over. And here we are today. 
• We talked about how Young Life molds itself to individual cultures. Gabriel told me a story about how social gatherings are illegal in communist Vietnam unless a birthday is being celebrated. So they just celebrate a birthday at Young Life club every week in Vietnam. Another thing I love is that Young Life is rarely run by foreigners. The majority of the time the Area Directors/leaders are from the country they're working in. Which in my opinion is SO IMPORTANT. Let's cut that white savior nonsense out whenever we can!
• WORK CREW EXISTS HERE. Gabriel takes his kids to work crew at Young Life camps in Peru. Enough said. 
• I asked Gabriel why he thinks kids are drawn to Jesus even within the heavily religious and heavily hypocritical church culture in Chile. And he said that kids tell him that they love the Jesus that they learn about and see in Young Life because the leaders actually live out what they preach. Which is NOT what these kids are used to here. God's love is made real to them through their leaders. And that's really effing cool. Gosh I hope that I too can live out what I preach every day. I'm actually positive that that will never stop being my prayer or my struggle for the rest of my life. 
• Because Gabriel is currently the face of Young Life in Chile, he goes to all the regional meetings and trainings. Which means he knows all the Young Life country directors and various area directors and leaders in Latin America. Which means he hears ALL THE STORIES. So he just told me story after story. An Area Director in Guatemala literally living in a dump, clubs in Dominican Republic run in the street with no lights or sound or building, an Area Director and his wife in Honduras having to flee the country to El Salvador because his wife accidentally witnessed a murder, of Young Life in Ecuador having to have a separate team just to focus on meeting the physical needs of kids, and of a gringo Area Director in Venezuela being expelled from the communist country by Hugo Chávez himself simply for being a gringo and doing what he was doing. Every time I finally don't feel 100% ignorant about the world I hear stories like this and remember that I know nothing.

What Gabriel and his leaders do here is hard work. And I am absolutely ten thousand percent encouraged by them. Just a bunch of ordinary people trying to follow Jesus by going out into the mess that is life and living it with kids. And somehow Jesus' love becomes visible through that. 

Young Life. Stripping away everything that isn't Jesus and his Gospel since 1941.

Also Gabriel told me I have the invite to come back whenever I want because "en Young Life somos familia". I might just quit school in Santiago and go live in Rancagua. Bye losers. 

Also I just remembered I have a $20 Olive Garden gift card so if anyone's tryna go with me in January hmu. 

Also *shout-out* to God because all week I'd been praying that somehow my Spanish would miraculously be better so I could actually communicate with the Young Life folk. WELL GUESS WHO DIDN'T HAVE ANY TROUBLE COMMUNICATING. Somehow between this time last Sunday and now my brain started working. Coincidence or Jesus? WE'LL NEVER KNOW. 

who's an independent country

Every year on September 18th Chile celebrates their independence from Spain. The actual holiday is only Sept. 18, but don't worry Chileans cancel their lives for an entire week to celebrate. So let me just quickly explain why Chile is the best at celebrating independence ever.

They kept the gringos in school (it was canceled for everyone else) until the 17th so the festivities didn't really get started until the 18th, or "Dieciocho" for us. Unfortunately I spent Dieciocho watching Grey's Anatomy with swollen eyes and a lot of mucus in my bed all day.

BUT FRI-SUN WERE GREAT.

On Friday we went to a family birthday bbq. It was super divertido because my family is related to another family in the program who have my gal pal (her name's Eva) so it was great being with a big group of Chileans but also having another gringa for moral support and someone to stare with. My abuela taught me the traditional cueca dance and it made me love her 10,000 times more than I already do. Also Eva's homestay dad (my abuela's cousin's husband) is the best thing to ever happen to anything. For the entire 7 hours of the party he never sat down and I never saw him eat and drink because he just walked around offering people things and LITERALLY PUTTING FORKFULS OF POTATOES IN PEOPLE'S MOUTHS. I would literally finish my drink, set it down, and within <1 second he would be at my side offering me a re-fill. I said no to the wine he offered and he poured me one anyway. I had to turn down a third meat-kabob on three separate offers before he gave up and started offering me choripan instead. And then he caught on that I thought it was funny that a) he never stopped asking me if I wanted something and b) that he added "ito" to everything i.e. pancito, augita, papita, carnecito, terremocito so then he just did it all even more. Bless that sweet old man and his elbow patch sweater. The whole night was just really special because our families (even our extended families) really do everything they possibly can to make us feel included and I am so so thankful for that. It is so special.

On Saturday some gringos and I went to a fonda right by my apartment. Fondas are just big parties that are kinda like fairs that are set up all over Chile for the weekend. Basically they're all just about traditional Chilean food, traditional Chilean drinks, and traditional Chilean dancing. AND IT'S THE BEST. I waited 90 minutes in line to hurt my body with chorrillana (french fries, satueed onions, sausage, beef, and a fried egg). And then we sat on the grass and accidentally watched a band called Inti-Illimani perform. It was just like 5 old dudes playing CLASSIC Chilean music. They did a lot of harmonizing and the instruments they played made the most pleasing sound in the world. It was like a Latin ukulele. And I wanted to weep. I just find it so special that some humans are naturally inclined to play an instrument and then a few humans that have that inclination can get together and and make music that can then have a deeply powerful effect on other humans. One day I'm gonna have to write a blog post titled "Things I Have a Deep Reverence For" so I can expand on this point.

Then I came home and hung with my mom and her friends/family/Eva and I UNDERSTOOD MOST OF THE CONVERSATION/JOKE CONTENT. Something's happening to my brain. Then at midnight (yes they leave at midnight to go out) we left to go see a 20 person band perform. They're called Banda Conmoción and they changed my life forever. 20 people. In one band. I'm talking tubas, trumpets, trombones, symbols, big drums, maracas, EVERYTHING. Plus a dancing devil man. I will never, ever, ever be able to explain how cool it was. Even watching videos of them don't do them any justice. THEY ALL HAD SO MUCH DAMN CHARISMA AND WERE SO MUCH FUN. And they would come into the crowd and do stuff with us. And spray foam on us from the stage. It was the most uniquely entertaining show I have ever seen. And we were the only gringas there. AND IT WAS SO LATIN AMERICAN. I actually feel like I'm wasting my time trying to explain it because it just cannot be explained. So everyone just needs to come to Chile and see them. Glad that's settled. After Banda Conmoción finished it just turned into a Latin dance party (MY FAVORITE THING). *ATTN: only giving the following detail to brag* Word for word verbatim what two guys said to me: "You are not normal United States girl." "Why?" "Because you dance like Latin girl." I CAN DIE HAPPY NOW THANK YOU EVERYONE GOODBYE. Around 3:30 AM we got a taxi ride home and I got to talk to the taxi driver about Jesus. And for some reason I was able to speak Spanish really well in that moment. Just lol at Jesus and life.

4 hours later I woke up to go to church. Met an Australian woman who just moved to Santiago 2 weeks ago because she feels like God wants her to plant a church here. YOUNG SINGLE GALS MOVING ACROSS CONTINENTS BY THEMSELVES TO PLANT CHURCHES. Female empowerment is alive y'all. And to tie in my point about my deep reverence for people making music together,  I have another point I'd like to make. This weekend I saw/felt/learned more about God watching Inti-Illimani and Banda Conmoción than I did at church this morning. AND YES THAT IS ABSOLUTELY A THING. So let's stop confining Jesus to Sunday mornings and Christian events. Because that's just not fair to our big big God. OH MY GOSH MY MOM JUST CAME IN AND HANDED ME A PLATE FULL OF FOOD WHY IS THIS CONSISTENTLY HAPPENING WHILE I WRITE THESE POSTS.

The final leg of the Fiestas Patrias was going to my abuela's house for lunch and having the pug sit on my lap again and then going to a "Bienvenido a Chile Tio Lelo" family/friend party which then kinda awkwardly turned into a "Bienvenido a Chile Tio Lelo and Also a Welcome United States Girl That We Don't Know" party. I love Chile because it's a thing to go around to everyone at the party and touch cheeks and make a kissy sound (I am in third grade for describing it that way) even if you have no idea who they are. You may not even introduce yourselves or ever speak again but YA GOTTA DO THE KISSY ANYWAYS. Basically the party was a hoot and I just love everything about this culture. They fed me more empanadas and by the end of the party they were screaming "Ayyyyy Yessi" and cheering on my newly found Latin hips via the microphone. I guess it's not everyday a big tall white idiot that loves to dance and pretends to be Latin crashes their parties. They were all v entertained. I was filmed multiple times. And I left feeling like everyone was my new best friend. WHY ARE CHILEANS SO FRIENDLY AND WELCOMING AND FUN.

Thank u Jesus for everything. Salsa dancing for Your glory. amen.

post 15 hrs. of culture shock

Hi guys. Turns out I can be just as busy in school abroad as I am in school in the states. Luckily I enjoy writing these posts that OH MY GOSH MY MOM JUST CAME IN AND HANDED ME A SNICKERS BAR FOR NO REASON. AND I WONDER WHY MY PANTS ARE GETTING TIGHT. Anyways, v busy, but since I enjoy writing these lame ass blog posts so much I'll be sure to cut out some time to do so.

There's one thing I really just need to go right on ahead and blog my feelings about. I'M NEVER GONNA LEARN SPANISH. I'm literally so frustrated. My fellow students and I just weep together all day because we all thought we knew Spanish decently well and here we just walk around not understanding anyone except our professors and our home stays who both slow down and enunciate for us. Also the more I learn/read the more I don't understand Spanish sentence structure and rules. So ya. Feeling really discouraged. Everyone tells me that one day it's just gonna click and suddenly I'm gonna understand everything and just start speaking like a normal human. PRAYERS THAT THAT DAY HAPPENS SOMETIME IN THE NEXT 55 YEARS OF MY LIFE.

Chileans continue to be freakishly nice:
Money falls out of my friend's pockets and people return it to them. Sweet old men on bus rides give me and my pals chocolate as a "recuerdo", or a memory. I snag free taxi rides because other people happen to be going in the same direction and just pay to have me dropped off on the way. Bus station attendants run to catch buses from leaving when we miss them on accident. I fall asleep in the USAC building and I wake up to a heater directly in front of me set up by the janitor woman. And this morning the taxi man taught me how to say eleventh, twelfth, thirty-first, seventy-fifth etc. in Spanish. Seriously, bless the Chilenos.

Here's a two second recap of my weekend: Took a bus to Viña del Mar/Valparaíso. Went on a boat. Climbed up sand dunes. LOL'ed at creation. Ate a big ass burrito. Drank a DIRTY CHAI LATTE WITH SOY MILK at STARBUCKS with Cadi and Evelyn. Felt like I was back in the Central Coast of California. Accidentally ended up in a fruit and veggie mercado in Valpo alone. Felt like I was in South America (which I am, lol). ATE THE BEST MEAL OF MY ENTIRE LIFE in a local restaurant famous for chorrillana (french fries, sautéed onions, eggs, and MEAT) that no tourists know about. Paid 100 pesos (<$.25) to almost die in an ascensor (basically an outdoor elevator that goes up at a slight slant). Took a bus home Saturday night to be back for #santiagosundays which I LOVE. Every Sunday I go to church and then my mom pickes me up to go to my Abuela's house where we go to a market in the suburbs (again, no tourists, luv it) and then I get fed traditional Chilean food and am forced to speak Spanish. AND I LOVE IT. All in all, gr8 gr8 weekend.

However...

I think I finally experienced that thing called "culture shock" yesterday because EVERYTHING ANNOYED ME. Here's a bullet point list of things that annoyed me:

• I will never, ever blend in here. Getting CONSTANTLY stared at and always feeling like you're walking around NAKED starts to wear ya down quick. 
• The fact that it's winter here. I don't wanna wear 3 jackets anymore. 
• I have a bad bad cold and searched 3 stores for cough drops only to find out that they're in the CANDY SECTION because people eat Halls as candy here. WHY. 
• There's no High Street Deli, Nautical Bean, Firestone, Tahoe Joe's, Trader Joe's, Bagel Shack or In-N-Out here. How dare you, Chile. 
• People use public transport at the same time as I do. Talk about UGH. 
• They don't speak English here. Like c'mon guys, is it THAT hard. 

They warned us this would happen. They warned us in a few weeks we'd hate everything about everything until we settled in post-culture shock. And I said NOT A CHANCE I love Chile and Spanish too much. I hate when psychology is right. But last night I prayed for a change of heart about my current 'tude. AND GUESS WHAT. Woke up feeling like a new woman. So that's right everyone. I experienced culture shock for a whopping 15 hours. Just now I did what I think was some post culture shock settling in. I reorganized my entire room, hung up some decor, and drank some water. FEELING GOOD FOLKS. Love you Chile.

Also, I have now reached the 3 weeks sin leg shave mark. It's really just a game now. HOW LONG CAN I HOLD OUT.

Also, also, if you wanna read a blog series that's rocking my world please read this. Rob Bell explains the Bible in a way that FINALLY MAKES SENSE. I would especially suggest this blog series to people who aren't fans of Jesus and who really have a distaste for how they've seen Christianity and the Bible presented in the past. The way he talks about Jesus and the world gets me so PUMPED. And Christians, please don't let any preconceived notions about R.B. stop you from reading this. SEE 4 YA SELVES IT'S GR8 STUFF. See link below.

http://robbellcom.tumblr.com/post/66107373947/what-is-the-bible

fresh whiffs

Happy Tuesday, everyone! I ate Taco Bell for lunch so I'm still burping up that *~international flavor~* as I write this. A happy Tuesday indeed.

I'm a real student at a real school in Chile now except for not actually a real student because I only take classes with Americans and I mostly just get stared at walking on campus because I'm so obviously not a real student here. All my classes are in Spanish. Which means all my homework is in Spanish. Also I only speak Spanish with my home stay. Also the entire country speaks Spanish. So basically this exhausts my brain and I get in my bed AND DIE for 8 hours every night.

Some highlights you should know about:

Last Tuesday night, my family and I went to my tio's 25th birthday party at my abuelos' house in the suburbs of Santiago. At one point all the lights were turned off and the birthday cake was lit and we were all singing feliz cumpleaños and it was a very special 'how did I end up in a living room with a big Chilean family singing happy birthday to my tio' moment.

I secretly LOVE having to take taxis because it means there's another human TRAPPED in a car that I can force to speak Spanish with me.

Tried an empanada place by my school for the first time. I took one bit of my doble queso empanada and immediately kissed my pre-study abroad body goodbye because I have never enjoyed a mouthful of grease more. I will be back at least 8 times daily.

There's two street dogs that are always at the corner where the said empanada place is. They attack cars and bite the fenders and stuff but they're probably really nice dogs, just misunderstood. They wear little doggy vests to keep them warm. I mostly just wonder who does their laundry.

I COULD NOT HAVE CHOSEN A WORSE COUNTRY TO LEARN SPANISH IN. My professors have openly admitted this to us. Chileans just speak so fast and don't pronounce ANYTHING and have a lot of strange slang. But I'm getting it. I really am. Slowly but surely.

I am absolutely obsessed with all doormen/security guards in this country. And yes, I will make that generalization based off the 3 doormen in my apartment and the 1 security guard at my school that I know. All so wonderful and friendly and love to indulge me by letting me talk to them about literally pointless things just so I can practice speaking. Also 50% of them are named Luis. I think 50% of this country might be named Luis.

Mullets are such a thing here. Still unsure about my feelings regarding this subject.

I HAVE BEEN ASKED ON TWO SEPARATE OCCASIONS FOR DIRECTIONS. Twice. Both times by Spanish speakers asking me in Spanish. Why they would EVER choose to ask me out of all people I will never understand.

On Monday me and two others stood in front of a coffee vending machine debating for 5 minutes whether or not the coffee will come in a cup or if you have to have your own cup ready to catch the coffee that pours out. Sometimes it's just hard being foreign.

I'm never not hungry here. I had 2 lunches and dessert 3 times today. I'M ALWAYS HUNGRY AND I CAN'T STOP.

I learned how to meringue and salsa at dance class today. I even danced with real Chilean men. I felt like a real woman which I really needed because I haven't shaved my legs in over two weeks. In fact I haven't even seen my legs in over two weeks. It's cold and central heating doesn't exist in Chile.

But enough about my overgrown body hairs, IT'S TIME TO CUT ALL THE BS and get to the meat and papas of this blog post. I learned a big LIFE LESSON this week. On Thursday night, I went with my mom's 30 something year old salsa-dancing dread-locked male friend to an exclusive invite-only cocktail party he was working. You know, going to cocktail parties full of established fancy folk with an almost-stranger are not necessarily on my list of favorite things to do but I figured it'd be good practice for my Spanish and like when else will I go to an exclusive cocktail party in another country? 

OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS IT WAS AWFUL. If you know me, large social situations and talking to strangers are generally a strongpoint of mine. But WOW NOT THIS NIGHT. I was SO uncomfortable. The only way I could make myself even slightly comfortable was to grab a martini and pretend to be someone I wasn't. I made some bad calls and acted in a way that is not who I am or who I want to be. Long story short, I got home that night feeling awful. But I could not be MORE THANKFUL for that night. And let me tell you why.

I know God let me have that night so he could give me a reminder of why I chose Him in the first place. A reminder of what leaves me feeling empty. A reminder of what it feels like to place myself first and hurt people in the process. BUT MOST OF ALL, a reminder of what it feels like to choose to live outside of what I've found in Jesus. THX 4 THE REMINDERS GOD THEY'RE MUCH APPRECIATED. I learned that while I'm here (or anytime for that matter) I can't compromise who I am or what my passions are or what I care about or what I like to do just because it seems easier at the moment to do so. That is literally no way to live. So, just feeling extra liberated to pursue Jesus while I'm here and not be ashamed to do so.  I feel like I got a fresh whiff of Jesus air and I'm ready to go out and run after love and justice like it's nobody's business. Turns out Jesus likes to work through nights of pear martinis and mistakes and I could not love him more for that.

When Jesus says he wants to give us freedom, he means it. AND IMA GO RIGHT ON AHEAD AND SOAK THAT FREEDOM UP.

Also UGH keep thinking of more things I love about Jesus. After all this, I never felt condemned by God. I never felt like he was mad at me. I only felt the presence of a God who loves me just the way I am but loves me too much to let me stay like that.

Ok, I'm done.

Peace and blessings y'all it's 12:45 in the morning here and I'm ready to hit my tasmanian devil sheets. Yes, I do sleep on tasmanian devil sheets that say "some things require great concentration" all over them. Bye.

PS YOU SHOULD SEND ME MAIL.

My address is this:

Jessica Jansen

Programa USAC

Universidad Andrés Bello

Avenida República 470, Piso 1

Santiago, Chile- South America

Postal Code 8370251

Rumor is it takes about 4 weeks for mail to get here. Just a FYI. And also if you send something and I don't thank you profusely for it and write a 12 page love letter showering you in praises back to you, it means I didn't get it.