the south of Chile > everything

HERE I AM Y'ALL. Alive and thriving in the United States of America. Feeling very weird about being back. Like why is everything in English.

I'm 21 now. For my birthday I went out to a karaoke bar AND a salsateca. I was so busy singing karaoke and salsa dancing that I actually forgot to binge drink. So yeah I didn't get drunk on my 21st birthday. Deconstructing social norms y'all.

The next night we began our trip to the south of Chile. Before our trip I was thinking ok after 10 days of traveling I'll be tired and homesick and ready to leave Chile. NOPE. Literally the opposite happened. Turns out it was possible for me to fall more in love with that country and the people in it.

We started our trip with a 13 hour overnight bus and landed in Puerto Varas, a small German town in the Lake District. We showed up at our hostel and an hour later we were accidentally riding bikes 36 kilometers to the neighboring town. The next day Pierre, our hostel owner, took us kayaking. So I don't repeat the phrase "It was really beautiful" too much, I'll just say it now. ALL OF SOUTHERN CHILE IS REALLY BEAUTIFUL. The third day we took a bus to Lago de Todos Los Santos. My chin was on the ground the entire time.

That night we took a plane down to the bottom of the world. But really. Punta Arenas is really really really far south. And cold. Very cold. And it's their summer.

The next morning I set out alone to go find Julia Core and her mom Barbs. I got lost very quick but it turned out great because I ACCIDENTALLY HITCH HIKED WITH AN ANGEL. He was just this jolly old man that was telling me how wonderful the people are in the south WHILE PROVING HIS OWN POINT.

I have no words to describe the Patagonia. We saw glaciers and mountains and lakes and rivers and alpacas having sex and surprise waterfalls and rocks and trees and rainbows and avalanches. It was the dumbest 3 days of my entire life. I've never seen anything more beautiful.  THANK GOD IT WAS AWFUL WEATHER. Because if it had been beautiful weather I think I would have died and quit everything and spent the rest of my life walking around mountains in Torres del Paine. It's my new life goal to get back there and spend 4 weeks in the Pat. Other than that all I can say is that everyone has to go. Bye.

On our last night in Torres del Paine we woke up in a lake tent. Literally we woke up at 2am and we were on a water bed. THE ONLY SPOT IN THE ENTIRE CAMPING PLACE WHERE WATER DECIDES TO PUDDLE UP WAS UNDER OUR TENT. Luckily by some strange coincidence or maybe the grace of Jesus Christ the refugio (the on site hostel + restaurant) hadn't made enough bread so they had two people in the kitchen making bread all night for the next day's supply. They said we could come in for the night so we ditched our tent and piled into the dining room and they fed us chocolate and peaches and bread and avocado and tea and coffee and we stayed up chatting with our new friends until the sun rose and they helped us rescue our flooded tent and just like that we were back on the trails. Lol.

We landed back in Punta Arenas that night like what the hell just happened. Still recovering.

I still have dirt collected at the bottom of my water bottle from drinking the fresh river water in Torres del Paine and I'm never washing it out.

The next day we just hung out in Punta Arenas. We always choose where to eat based on which place looks the shittiest. Because in Chile that usually means the best food. We ended up hitting jackpot. Spring even had a strange man spray his cologne on her.

The next morning at 6am we took a flight to Puerto Montt to spend the day there before taking an overnight bus back to Santiago. At this point we were pretty weary and kinda sick and it was raining and we had all our stuff and so we were just thinking let's just get this day over with by sitting in a cafe all day.

TURNED OUT TO BE A MAGICAL PERFECT DAY: We met a woman named Carmen who invited us into her slipper workshop. A SLIPPER WORKSHOP PEOPLE. She then turned out to be the most marvelous and wise and beautiful woman on planet earth and we stood talking to her for 45 minutes before she had to go babysit her grandkids. But not before introducing us to her friends who also had shops in the plaza omg I'm getting teary eyed writing about this day because it was so special and they all warmly welcomed us with big smiles and Carmen introduced one woman as "our other mama chilena" and we told this Argentinian man named Ruben we were studying in Santiago and he just kept saying "excelente" with his bright blue eyes and Argentinian accent. But wait it got better. Then we ate lunch where we paid less than $6 for a gourmet 3 course lunch and he let us stay there for 3 hours using his wifi and avoiding the hail outside. I felt like Lorelai in Luke's diner from Gilmore Girls except this man was much nicer than Luke and I'm Jessica and we were in Chile. Sarah fell down the flight of stairs walking to the bathroom and he gave her a chocolate bar after to make her feel better. A CHOCOLATE BAR. Then we went back to the plaza where Carmen makes her slippers to look around and ended up talking to Ruben more and he told us stories of moving to Puerto Montt with his future wife after knowing her for 3 days whom he did end up marrying and was with for 15 years before she died of cancer this year. Ruben was also a paraplegic at one point in his life after a bad car accident but said it was a miracle and he recovered to be able to walk with just a limp and have one working arm and now he makes salmon leather because he can do it with one hand. Then Carmen came back and invited us into her workshop for tea and so duh we did and she told us more stories and said we are all welcome back anytime. All we need is a backpack and to hitchhike down and we can stay with her. And people ask me why I love Chile LOL.

AND THAT ALL HAPPENED ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE BUS STATION LIKE SERIOUSLY LOL.

My last night in Santiago was the most special. Our pals threw Spring and I a party in one of my favorite places, the 27th floor patio of Briony's apartment building that overlooks the whole city where I got to watch the Santiago sunset one last time. They made chorrillana (my favorite Chilean food ever) and signed cards for us and we laughed and danced and at the end of the night when we were all saying goodbye we all stood in a circle and held each other and we had a bilingual prayer sendoff for Spring and I. I DON'T THINK A SEND OFF HAS EVER BEEN MORE SPECIAL.

The next day my pals Pancho and Bernardo took me to the airport and waited with me in the check-in line for an hour and a half before sending me off with final abrazos and encouraging words to the security line. And just like that I was on my way out of Chile.

The flight was fine. I mostly slept. The only fear I have about flying is that I'm gonna sleep through the free meal that I paid hundreds of dollars for. NOT AN IRRATIONAL FEAR. All was fine and swell until I landed in L.A. and saw the high rise buildings that reminded me too much of Santiago and it hit me that I was not on the South American continent anymore and all the people I love were now very, very far away and who knows the next time I'll be able to see them. That's when the waterworks came. So who do I talk to about getting Chile moved up by California?

Went straight from the airport to get a tattoo. One of my better decisions.

Other than that, things in San Clemente are good. Jansen holiday parties were pretty much the same as they are every year. Thirty minutes in my 87 year old grandmother was feeling up my chest and then lifting up her own shirt for a comparison all while speaking Dutch. So nothing new there.

Tomorrow I make the voyage north back to San Luis Obispo. I'M SO EXCITED I COULD WEEP.

And so ends the blog for purposes of sharing how awful Chile is. Thx 4 listening.  I've thoroughly enjoyed using this as a creative outlet. Wait until my high school English teachers find out I like writing now. But like, I tend to get busy. We'll see if I ever touch this blog again.

Happy new year, friends.

THE LAST ONE

YOU GUYS. THIS WILL BE THE LAST BLOG POST WRITTEN IN CHILE. WHAT.

Last Friday night I went to the end of the year fancy dinner for El Oasis then danced all night and didn't get home until 6am. And then I showered and went straight to my brother's first communion. I WAS SO TIRED IT WAS ACTUALLY PAINFUL. I came home after and died forever until I woke up and my mom was decorating for Christmas and I ate lemon pie. I don't know why I didn't think Christmas decorations would be a thing in my house but THEY ARE. My first sweaty Christmas.

My Thanksgiving this year was celebrated 3 days late at a table using both English and Spanish with no one I'm related to and a meal that consisted of dishes from both Chile and the USA. And we listened to Christmas music while we ate. I don't know if I've ever mentioned Chile's obsession with mayonnaise but Chile has an obsession with mayonnaise. There was an entire table full of DELICIOUS DISHES and yet they still had the bag of mayo out. Oh yeah. They buy their mayonnaise in bulk bags.

The next day me and a few gals sat on the deck of the 27th floor of Briony's apartment and had girl talk and giggled and loved each other. The sun was setting and was putting this BEAUTIFUL light over the city and I just absolutely couldn't get over it and I was just looking down at the city I love so much and was just like HEY WOW I'M IN LOVE WITH THIS CITY. Lol to 4 years ago when I didn't know a thing about Chile or that it wasn't spelled Chili.

Between that little moment ^ and Thanksgiving I just remembered again that I'm really not ready to go home. HEY LET'S WAIT UNTIL JESS GETS NICE AND COMFORTABLE AND THEN MAKE HER LEAVE.

There's this old man that sometimes rides the same bus as me. This week I noticed his haircut. Sometimes this city of 6 million people feels really small.

ON WEDNESDAY I WENT AND PICKED UP MY BEST FRIEND JULIA CORE AND HER MOM BARBS AT THE AIRPORT. I was their professional part time tour guide and having my two worlds collide could not have been greater. I had actual sore cheeks from smiling and laughing so much. And like I know we just survived 4 months without each other but that didn't make saying goodbye for another 3 weeks any easier.  JULIA CORE YOU ARE SUCH A SPECIAL FRIEND TO ME. And Barbs. I love Barbs.

I've had a few people tell me I have a Spanish accent (like from Spain) and I have never had any idea why. Over the weekend me and Julia just realized that I have a little bit of a lisp when I speak English too and that's why I think people confuse me for a sexy Spanish woman when I speak Spanish. So now I have to explain to people, "No I'm not from Spain I just have a lisp". Julia calls it the "Meredith Grey lisp". My life.

Also on Wednesday I walked around with one side of my shorts tucked up under my backpack exposing my butt cheek to the general public for 20 minutes.

Sometimes you have a relationship with the Creator of the universe and sometimes you feel like he's M.I.A. And that's been this past little over a weekish for me. I used to get really frustrated when I felt like I was talking to a wall or was having a hard time seeing Jesus in other people (or in myself for that matter) but I've learned that this is actually a cool part of following Jesus. Because it is SUCH A RELATIONSHIP that that's just a natural part of it.

People are just overwhelmingly unperfect and I have no idea why Jesus wants to be so involved with us.

My last day of school and my 21st birthday are on Wednesday, then I leave to travel the south of Chile on Thursday and then I'll come back spend 2 more days in Santiago and then my butt's getting on a plane back to Los Angeles, CA, USA on December 22nd. The next time we talk I'll be a mature 21-year-old sitting in San Clemente holding my family, weeping over my bank account, and celebrating what these last 4.5 months were for me. So like bye.

A FREE BLOG POST HAPPY BLACK FRIDAY!!!!!

WOW HI SORRY I DON'T WRITE ON THIS.

But I'm here now.

I went camping. With like 35 Chileans. And 1 fellow gringa. And 1 girl from Ireland. IT WAS SO OVERWHELMING. Like I love being with large groups of Chileans and they're so great but it's just overwhelming when you can't speak Spanish (ME.) We hiked around, roasted weenies and mallows, and stayed around the campfire until 4:30 am. Some people stayed until 6am. Chileans don't sleep. Also just a side note: I'm so much more mature in Spanish because I haven't figured out how to make weenie jokes in Spanish. One day. My favorite part was the gal chat at night. All the gals sat in a circle and answered questions and shared stories and giggled together and related with each other and that's just some of the best stuff in life. HOWEVER, 90% of the camping I've done in my life has been with my best gal pals from San Luis Obispo, so this moment also made me real homesick. I shared with them how one of the things I'm most grateful for is my gal group in SLO and how it was LITERALLY JESUS who brought us all together in 2012 when we were ALL PRAYING THE SAME PRAYER for Jesus loving friends to vivir the vida with. On the way home me and 4 friends stopped at en empanada place and I was sitting there in this rickety stone building with a huge kiln cooking the empanadas and there was Latino music playing and Chilean flag banners hanging and we were all sharing a 2 liter bottle of coke with our plastic cups (v typical here) and I was just like lol I'm in Chile and moments like this don't exist in the US of A. It was grool (great and cool @claireshannon.)

Yesterday me and two friends were on the metro just chatting away when all of a sudden I looked down and some man's hand was in my backpack. Luckily I rule and essentially said "excuse me sir but why is your hand in my bag" and then he acted like he hadn't been doing anything and tried to make small talk as if he hadn't just tried to steal from me. So that was the time I almost got robbed.

Finally felt my first Chilean earthquake. They're extremely common here so I'd been waiting. But like it was only a 5 on the good ol' Richter scale. IS THAT ALL YOU GOT CHILE.

Last week I promised the break dancing crew that hangs in Plaza Italia every night that I would do push-ups all week and then come back to begin my b-girl career. Haven't done a single push-up. I can never show my face there again.

I've given 2 presentations in one of my classes since we last talked. The first on modern slavery and the second on harmful charity/giving. The more I learn about these two things the more I realize hey wow I'm extremely ignorant and hey wow I might be part of the problem. Did you know that 70% of the chocolate we eat is made by child slaves in Western Africa? Yeah, I didn't either. So like you bet your ass I'm gonna keep learning and start making changes. Like today when I went shopping because my clothes don't fit me (lol) and I opted for the shirt made in Chile over the dress made in China. If you're wondering why that's a better option, PERFECT. Let's talk about that upon my return. ALSO IF YOU'D LIKE A LIVE PRESENTATION ABOUT EITHER OF THESE TOPICS UPON MY RETURN I can give it to you in your preferred language (English/Spanish). Please send all inquires to jessicarosejansen@gmail.com.

Last weekend I spent my last night ever in Rancagua with my YL family. Very sad to say goodbye to some of my favorites but also one of the greatest nights I've had there. One of the BEST PARTS was that I got to bring my pal Bernardo with me to let him get a better look at Young Life is to see if he might want to be a part of helping at camp in January/starting YL in Santiago.  So special. Before club started Bernardo and Pablo (YL leader) taught me classic Chilean dances and it was the actual best time. My favorite place to be in the world is around a dinner table with my best gal pals but my SECOND favorite place has go to be dancing in Rancagua, Chile in the YL clubhouse. Club was awesome and I just really love everyone and then at the end they gave me a sweatshirt that THEY HAD MADE FOR ME. I've been sitting in my room wearing it and sweating because it's hot here but I love it too much to not have it on my body. Saying goodbye was real hard and sad but I know I'll be back in my lifetime. Cecilia has a room in her house ready and waiting for me so maybe I'll just drop out of Cal Poly and move there in January.

Big fan of the karaoke bars. Big big fan. You don't need to know anything more.

Me and two of my gringa pals are officially recognized at our favorite lunch lugar in La Vega (the beautifully sketchy market that I love to frequent). Our lady calls us her niñas. I WISH EVERYONE IN THE WORLD WOULD CALL ME THEIR NINA BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL SO SPECIAL AND LOVED.

It's a good thing I'm leaving in 3 weeks. Any longer and I'd have to buy new pants. #1 bread consuming country for the win. BUT LIKE I'D SIZE UP IF IT MEANT I COULD STAY HERE FOREVER.

My Irish friend Briony had a big asado (essentially a gathering of friends around an assortment of meats) at her house one night and she lives on the 27th floor of an apartment and it was at night and the entire city was lit up and it was in this moment that I remembered I live in a big ass city. Not much to tell about this night that would interest you blog readers BUT STOP BEING SO SELFISH because I'm including this section so that I can remember this night when I read these posts in 5 years because it was special to me.

Been feeling strangely homesick this week. I think it's just because I'm so close to leaving that I've really started daydreaming about holding my nieces and seeing my sister (who I haven't seen since January). But like even with this homesickness I'm so not ready to leave. Like SO NOT READY.

Christian hipsters are alive and thriving in Santiago. I went to a church on Sunday that was full of them. It was incredible.

My latino music game IS SO STRONG RIGHT NOW. I could not be more pleased and all I can think about is getting back in my car and blasting really surprising music with the windows down.

Hung with a DELIGHTFUL human this week and he told me his story. WOW Jesus is teaching me SO MUCH through him. Main lesson: God walks with hurting people through the worst imaginable situations. And then works through those same hurting people and their experiences to do incredible things later. And NO ONE is beyond reach of God's love. No one. Even when we don't even know we are ready for it. Ugh, go Jesus.

One of my best friends Julia Core and her mom Barbs Core are coming to Santiago in 5 days. There are actually no words to describe how excited I am.

This might be the most blabby unorganized non proof read post I've written yet. COOL.

IT'S MID NOVEMBER HOW

Here's just like some things that have happened these past few weeks in chronological order:

I spent Halloween weekend with my YL family. On Friday they had a mega-club for all 4 of the clubs across Rancagua. At one point there was some misunderstanding because I don't speak Spanish and I accidentally ended up with 3 other leaders performing a zumba dance in front of everyone. Also my favorite part of the whole night was making friends with a gal at club and then leaving with her to walk around her barrio to pick up her friends to come to club. Gabriel, the area director, saw it happening and thought about stopping me (idk I guess maybe gringas shouldn't walk around the sketchiest barrio in Rancagua or something like that) BUT I'M SO GLAD HE DIDN'T because we walked arm in arm and sang "Bailando" by Enrique Iglesias and now every time I hear that song I am reminded of that special special memory. On Saturday they had a celebratory 8 years of YL ministry in Chile buffet dinner at Latin America's largest casino which also turned out to be a bowling alley an arcade a small amusement park a restaurant a mall a discoteca and a five star hotel. I ate so much I hurt myself and then all of a sudden I was on a ride that was launching me up and down over and over again. Not sure why that happened. Had another one of those big "how did I get here" moments when I was eating my third plate of dessert in the middle of a table with 18 Chileans that I didn't even know existed three months ago. Life is so weird. 

Just to give you a snapshot of my weekly routine: I usually wake up around 9 everyday (YUP CHILE HAS TURNED ME INTO A LATE SLEEPER @CAROLINEDOZIER), make a fried egg and pan @lillianbussel and nescafé (can't tell you how much I miss non-instant coffee), leave for class at 10:15 in order to get to class via bus and metro by 11ish, go to class (lol study abroad though), and then I usually meet up with a pal or go dancing or do something kewl after class. So that's pretty much what Mon-Thurs usually looks like. For all 2 of you that were wondering. This week especially I've had some really special one-on-one hangouts with some very special people and I am just so thankful that we don't do this thing called LA VIDA alone. 

On Thursday night my friends in Rancagua held the first YL interest meeting here in Santiago to try and get the ball rolling on YOUNG LIFE SANTIAGO. I have never felt so privileged to attend anything in my life. To be able to be apart of the very first step in starting YL in Santiago AND being able to invite 5 of my Chilean friends to the meeting and into the Young Life story (a story that has had an incredible impact on my relationship with Jesus) was just 2 kewl 4 words. The meeting was small but the leaders here have incredible faith and I have no doubts that God's going to provide the right people to make YL happen here. So like get ready Santiago.

On Friday I spent the day in the immigration office trying to renew my visa. It was incredibly overwhelming. I walked into the building and thought OH MY GOD I'M GONNA BE HERE FOR 14 HOURS I DIDNT BRING ENOUGH WATER. But don't worry I was only there for 3. There were people from all over the world there. Literally the entire world. I was reminded once again how 100% ignorant I am of how diverse our world is. 

Friday night I performed both Spice Girl's Wannabe and Luis Fonsi's Yo No Me Doy Por Vencido in a karaoke bar. After each performance my pals were in the back corner shouting "GRINGA LOCA GRINGA LOCA GRINGA LOCA". Getting closer and closer to Latina pop stardom. 

I went on a date on Saturday. THE ONLY THING SCARIER THAN YOUR FIRST DATE IN 3 YEARS IS YOUR FIRST DATE IN 3 YEARS IN SPANISH. I think I'd be ok with waiting another 3 years before going on another one. 

And last night we made friends with street break dancers. THEY WERE THE COOLEST GENTE EVER. And they're coming to the salsateca with us tonight. 

Also. When I'm speaking English I find myself using the Spanish "ehhmmm" instead of the English "uhmmm" and I say "y" instead of "and". But I use "like" when I'm speaking Spanish. THIS IS SUCH A PROBLEM AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO STOP ANY OF IT. 

THAT'S ALL BYE

"Es muy fácil andar por el camino que lleva a la perdición, porque es un camino ancho. ¡Y mucha gente va por ese camino! Pero es muy difícil andar por el camino que lleva a la vida, porque es un camino muy angosto. Por eso, son muy pocos los que lo encuentran." 

Mateo 6:13

sunscreened and thriving

Reporting live from my bed that I haven't left since I got home yesterday. Just got back from the 5 days tearing it up in the driest desert in the world and I may never move my body again.

Little bit of background: Instead of doing the $700 Atacama tour with our study abroad program, me and two pals, Spring and Sarah, (more commonly recognized as the Travel Team) did it on our own in hopes of having enough money to eat for our remaining two months in Chile. Here's an account of our time together.

Last Thursday we started our trip off with a bang by staying at the salsateca until 2am and then heading right to the airport to catch our flight. Because that's how you should always start a trip right.

A short flight later we got punted in Calama, Chile, a small mining town in the middle of nowhere where we could take a bus to San Pedro de Atacama. We got lost within literally 62 seconds of being there. LUCKILY, a miracle came in the form of a small female janitor who saw us struggling and gave us just the most detailed directions anyone could ever receive to the bus stop. I have never felt more loved by a small female janitor in my entire life. We had some extra time before our bus so we found a small picada with horse paintings on the walls and Christmas mugs and a wonderful Peruvian woman who single-handedly ran the place. We ordered pan y huevos and about 3 minutes after we ordered it we watched that woman run out of the door without saying a word to return 10 minutes later with bags of fresh bread. Also my café con leche came in the form of a hot cup of milk and a packet of instant coffee. I don't know when that will stop surprising me.

The first thing we did when we got to San Pedro was slack line with a local. Perks of not traveling with 40 bumbling gringos. The second thing we did was show up to the cheapest hostel that exists in San Pedro where we paid $8.50 a night to sleep in sheets that I'm actually positive have never been washed. (We watched Alfredo lysol the sheets in between guests and we loved every second of it.) The wifi worked about 60% of the time and sometimes there was hot water and usually toilet paper. But we paid 5,000 pesos for it. No complaints, folks. Great place.

Everyday for the next 4 days we rented bicicletas to bike our asses to desert beauty instead of paying big money to drive there on a tour and then to have to be on a tour. The first day we rode about 90 minutes to the Laguna Cejar. Still not quite sure why there's a lake in the middle of the driest desert in the world or how it sustains flamingos but you know science and whatever. We swam in the lake and it was v salty. So salty that you can't dunk your head under unless you really wanna hurt yourself and that you can float on your stomach without moving a muscle. We ended up talking to two Chilean gentleman in the lake and then all of a sudden our bikes were in the back of their truck and they were driving us an hour through beautiful desert landscape and paying $90 for us to get into the natural hot springs. GOOD THINGS COME TO POOR PEOPLE WHO TRAVEL. And then we were in the hot spring and Raul started singing Spanish opera and I will never understand how my choices in life brought me to that moment.

The next day we rode to Valle de la Luna. Little did I know that it's called Valley of the Moon BECAUSE THE TERRAIN IS JUST LIKE THE SURFACE OF THE MOON. So cool and also very bizarre. Apparently NASA even uses it to test whatever it is NASA does. On the way back we found ourselves on the side of the road trying to fix Sarah's bike. A guy on a motorcycle passed us and then a minute later came back to ask us if we needed help. He was SO SWEET and fixed her bike and even oiled up her wheels. He was an Argentinian who was motorcycling through Argentina, Bolivia, and Chile and he was absolutely my favorite part of the Atacama.

The next two days were just more "hey let's get on our bikes and find cool lugares in the desert" and we did it and it was great. We sweated a lot. And got really really dirty. And I never took off my adventure hat or my Tevas or my Shark watch. Took multiple photos of my naked butt cheeks in front of beautiful landscapes (as I have been doing in all beautiful landscapes since my trip to the Grand Canyon back in '13). Sometimes I got hangry or got suncreen in my eye but other than that it was a great time.

On our last night (which also happened to be Spring's 22nd cumpleaños) we walked out of the town a bit to stargaze. We had our new slacklining pal with us and now I will never forget that a shooting star is an "estrella fugaz" because I learned it while lying in dirt in the middle of the Atacama desert in Chile with a local. SPANISH IMMERSION IS REAL FOLKS.

The last 10 hours of our trip might be the strangest 10 hours of my entire life. Due to poorly coordinated bus and flight times we had to take a bus from San Pedro back to Calama Tuesday night but our flight wasn't until 8:50 AM the next morning. Since obvi we're too cheap to pay $30 each for a hostel for the night in Calama (it's a weird rich mining town where all the hostels and hotel which is like all 3 of them are weirdly expensive), our plan was to sleep in the airport. We got off the bus at 10pm and across the street there was a weird Chinese restaurant so we decided to go kill a few hours there before we took a taxi to the airport. After a mountain of Mongolian beef and wontons and Coronas, Sarah decided to make a joke like "lol, wouldn't it be funny if the airport is closed at night". And I said "lol wait that's a thing?" and she said "lol, ya" so we asked our waiter and he asked his co-workers and made a phone call and soon THAT JOKE BECAME OUR REALITY.  So here we are buzzed in a Chinese family restaurant at 11:30 at night with nowhere to go for the next 7 hours. Seeing as how our trip had gone so far I just kept saying "I'm just waiting for someone to come up to us and offer for us to stay in their home for the night". AND LOL THAT HAPPENED. Our waiter came back and offered for us to stay at the bartender's house. And so we stayed at the restaurant until closing and then the owner drove us two blocks to the bartender's house in his Mercedes SUV. The owner spoke both English and Spanish AND Chinese and yet never said a word to any of us. And why does he own a Mercedes SUV? He might be the most confusing part of our night. We all ended up chatting and watching music videos from the 80's until 4am until we took a 2 hour siesta and at 6am their taxi driver friend came and picked us up to take us to the airport but like he wasn't even driving a taxi so like this was another confusing part. By the time we got to the airport we were all just thankful and confused and happy to be alive and thriving in Calama, Chile.

Now I'm back in Santiago and while I loved my time in the Atacama as a dirty desert rat, I was actually real homesick for my Chilean fam, my Chilean home, and my life and people in Santiago. How does that happen after just two short months of being here. HELP WHAT WILL I DO WHEN I HAVE TO LEAVE FOR LONGER THAN 5 DAYS.

Also one quick special God moment I had this week. On the way home from the airport yesterday, Spring and I were riding the metro and this girl next to us was texting on her phone and crying really really hard. I started praying that somehow Jesus' peace and comfort would come into the situation. Right after I started praying, a sweet, SWEET older woman who was a stranger to the girl reached out her arm and started rubbing the girl's back and stroking her hair. Now, I don't know if that was an answer to prayer or whether or not that even comforted the girl, but I do know that if anything it was God being like hey Jess let me remind you that I'm a God who a lot of the time chooses to bring peace and comfort to people through other people. LESSON LEARNED JESUS. So like if you're trying to find me, I'll be in Santiago, Chile trying to live in a way in which God can work through me.

Ttyl.

HOW IS IT ALREADY OCT 19 WHY

Hi.

This week I found out that Chile is in South America. I went to La Vega Central (the main fruit/veggie/meats/etc.) market in Santiago and my life was forever changed. It was sketchy and beautiful and there were pig heads and I finally felt like I was in Latin America and I plan on going back at least once a week. 

Also I've realized that 90% of the reason I love Chile is because instead of shaking hands to meet someone you kiss their cheek. Which is GREAT for people like me with sweaty hands always. 

My pal Spring and I tried to make a peso on the metro by playing and singing 5 Years Time on the ukulele. Didn't go so well. 

I got my ass grabbed by this AWFUL man on my way out of the metro last week. I was so shocked/flustered when it happened that all I did was give him a dirty look. All week I've been trying to think about what I should have done but I can't come to a conclusion. WHAT WOULD JESUS DO IF HE GOT HIS ASS GRABBED ON THE METRO? YEAH I DON'T KNOW EITHER. 

There's a Christian ministry here for college students called El Oasis. It's the best thing that has ever happened to Chilean Jansen. I would really just like to spend 110% of my time with the people there. Last weekend I went on their retreat in the campo with them. It was just the absolute best. I am obsessed with every human that was there. They are SO FUN and also so very patient with my Spanish. I could actually write 14 blog posts just about that weekend and Oasis and all the fun stuff we do together now and everything ever. AS IF I NEEDED MORE REASONS TO NEVER LEAVE CHILE. I have about 50 more of them now in people form. 

I just got back from spending some time with the Younglifers in Rancagua again. It was gr8, as expected. But there was also something gr8 that wasn't expected. This afternoon Gabriel dropped me off at the bus station and LOL ALL THE BUS TICKETS BACK TO SANTIAGO WERE SOLD OUT. AND MY CHILEAN PHONE WAS DEAD. AND I DIDN'T HAVE GABRIEL'S PHONE NUMBER WRITTEN DOWN ANYWHERE. OR HIS ADDRESS. AND I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA BE SLEEPING IN THE BUS STATION.  Luckily I can hablar some español and I figured out that there was a bigger bus station across town where I could get a bus back to Santiago. Lol.

TIME HERE IS FLYING AND I'M PANICKING. I'm experiencing this strange thing where I can't wait to be back in San Luis Obispo but I also actually never want to leave Chile. It's like one of those weird things like the Trinity. It doesn't make any sense, it just is. 

Sorry for the short post. Love me. 

just another week without ranch dressing

WARNING: real crunched for time these days. I would love to go into more detail about everything (specifically about what Jesus is teaching me) but I guess you will all just have to wait until January when you take me out to In-N-Out to hear more of the dirty deets. Until then....

Last week I went to a salsoteca and watched every Chilean in the world move their hips the exact same way. HOW. 

One day on the metro this scary guy with a mask and a cape came on and I was scared until he started playing beautiful music and cracking jokes and engaging everyone on the metro AND THEN he sat down with a little kid on the floor and played music with him and it was the most beautiful thing and all I could think was THIS IS CHURCH.

I bought a missionary skirt and a bilingual Bible this week so I think that means I have to be a missionary now, right?

Young Life Slo County is killing it in my absence. I received a photo of a 21-year-old man in a pink furry vest intended for a 14-month-old infant. Wes Zimmerman--bringing kids to the feet of Jesus the best way he knows how.

Yesterday I discovered Calle Bandera. A street lined with thirty-five thrift shops. THIRTY-FIVE. And the wonderful thing is that NO ONE here likes the stuff that I like. I was so overwhelmed by it all that I ended up not buying a single thing. WHAT DO YOU BUY WHEN YOU LIKE EVERYTHING.

On Saturday I hiked around with four DELIGHTFUL humans (2 of whom I met that day) in the mountains of Santiago. There were rickety bridges and hippie communes and waterfalls and everything important ever. Here's a quick bio of my four new friends: 1. A pastor of a progressive church in the suburbs of Santiago. 2. An angel who is married to that pastor. 3. A Chilean who got kicked out of his church for asking too many questions (lol) and started making church happen in homes in his community instead. 4. A gringa who's married to that previously mentioned Chilean question asker who lived in Tacna, Peru for a year (aka the only town in Peru I was afraid to be in) and now is basically a self-supported missionary who's main objective in life is to open her home and life to anyone and everyone. All day I could think was HOW DID I GET HERE. WHY AM I HIKING ON PRIVATE LAND WHERE PEOPLES HORSES ARE JUST TIED UP TO TREES TALKING THEOLOGY IN SPANISH WITH A THIRTY SOMETHING YEAR OLD CHILEAN MAN.

On Sunday I attended the church of Banda Conmoción for the second time. I actually don't think a purer manifestation of God exists. Twenty incredibly talented SOULS are lined up on that stage playing music and dancing around together. How creative r u God for having music be something humans are naturally inclined to make and enjoy. Some people believe in God because sunsets. I believe in God BECAUSE BANDA CONMOCION.

And yesterday I just had one of my favorite days here ever. Mostly for reasons that no one would find exciting but me. Just really obsessed with all the humans here.

Disclaimer: This blog mostly talks about the highlights. And the stuff I'm most excited to share. And my proudest moments. But guess what. There are days when I sit in my living room for 5 hours and do homework. And there are moments when the food isn't omg to die for. And there are moments when I'm sweaty and cranky on the metro. And there are moments when I really miss my people at home. Or really worry about my people at home. So LET IT BE KNOWN that I'm not in some euphoric fantasy land where everything is "the best experience of my life" all the time. So if you're reading this abroad, or if you plan on going abroad, just know we have the freedom to be humans while we do so. We have the opportunity to engage the hard parts of life in a foreign country. And that is what makes study abroad the experience of a lifetime.

So ya, sometimes it's hard being here. But I've been trying not to weep for the past 36 hours because I just feel so right where I'm supposed to be. And I'm so thankful to be here that I could throw up.

Also, some of the Chileans have been reading my blog with the help of google translate. Sweet Cecilia even worked on translating it during her English lesson. I CAN'T TELL IF I'M HONORED OR HORRIFIED.

Peace + blessings from the southern hemisphere. Bye everyone.

#girlgoneYLd in Chile

Hi everyone. This is just a shameless post about Young Life and nothing more. 

There's probably gonna be a lot of Young Life jargon so I'm really sorry if you're a little lost. Plz feel free to forward all questions/comments/concerns about Jesus, Young Life, or about what my bowel movements have been looking like lately to jessicarosejansen@gmail.com. I'm serious. THX 4 UNDERSTANDING.

This weekend I visited the Young Life folks in a town called Rancagua, an hour south of Santiago. I showed up in Rancagua on Friday afternoon only having ever talked to the area director (Gabriel) via Facebook. He came to the bus station and picked me up and took me out to lunch with his wife and kid. THEY REFUSED TO LET ME PAY FOR MYSELF because they claim that they invited me out which ISNT EVEN TRUE because I LITERALLY INVITED MYSELF to come visit. Then we picked up some club supplies, grabbed another leader and went to the first club (Wyldlife). It wasn't a typical club because they were celebrating two birthdays so it was just hanging out with a short club talk and EMPANADAS OF COURSE. Next we went to the Young Life club but showed up late so I was only there for the end of the game and the talk (about the Prodigal Son, my favorite). As we approached the clubhouse Gabriel proceeded to tell me, "Oh ya, Jess. This is the most dangerous street in Rancagua. It's the poorest and has the most drugs. One time we were having a leader meeting here and we heard gunshots and there was someone dead on the corner." AND THIS IS THE NEIGHBORHOOD WHERE YOUNG LIFE HAS THEIR CLUB. Classic. After club we fit 7 adult humans and 1 toddler human into Gabriel's small Kia car and drove to Telepizza. The pizza had corn on it so that's new. Finally at midnight I got punted at one of the Wyldlife leader's house. I felt like a 10-year-old getting dropped off for a sleepover. And turns out that the sleepover was in HEAVEN. I literally slept in a house full of angels. Cecilia and her husband both work. And they are both Wyldlife leaders. And they currently have two Cuban immigrants living in their house because they had nowhere else to go so they opened up their home. And they kicked their daughter of her room so I could stay there and their daughter was happy to do so. And she offered me all the fruit and water in the world and told me to treat their home like my own. And then she friended me on Facebook and posted on my wall wishing me sweet dreams AGAIN after I'd already gone to bed. JESUS IS ALIVE IN RANCAGUA, CHILE YA'LL. 

Gabriel and his family came over the next morning and desayunared with me and we all talked more about Young Life and life and Jesus and cultural differences and everything under the Chilean sun. Some v interesting stuff worth sharing:

• Young Life in Chile accidentally got started because there was a guy in Rancagua that loved Jesus and was hanging out with the troubled youth in town. Then that guy went to Nicaragua and found out about Young Life there and realized OOPS THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING LOL. So then he came back and officially started YL in Rancagua. A few years later Gabriel and his family took over. And here we are today. 
• We talked about how Young Life molds itself to individual cultures. Gabriel told me a story about how social gatherings are illegal in communist Vietnam unless a birthday is being celebrated. So they just celebrate a birthday at Young Life club every week in Vietnam. Another thing I love is that Young Life is rarely run by foreigners. The majority of the time the Area Directors/leaders are from the country they're working in. Which in my opinion is SO IMPORTANT. Let's cut that white savior nonsense out whenever we can!
• WORK CREW EXISTS HERE. Gabriel takes his kids to work crew at Young Life camps in Peru. Enough said. 
• I asked Gabriel why he thinks kids are drawn to Jesus even within the heavily religious and heavily hypocritical church culture in Chile. And he said that kids tell him that they love the Jesus that they learn about and see in Young Life because the leaders actually live out what they preach. Which is NOT what these kids are used to here. God's love is made real to them through their leaders. And that's really effing cool. Gosh I hope that I too can live out what I preach every day. I'm actually positive that that will never stop being my prayer or my struggle for the rest of my life. 
• Because Gabriel is currently the face of Young Life in Chile, he goes to all the regional meetings and trainings. Which means he knows all the Young Life country directors and various area directors and leaders in Latin America. Which means he hears ALL THE STORIES. So he just told me story after story. An Area Director in Guatemala literally living in a dump, clubs in Dominican Republic run in the street with no lights or sound or building, an Area Director and his wife in Honduras having to flee the country to El Salvador because his wife accidentally witnessed a murder, of Young Life in Ecuador having to have a separate team just to focus on meeting the physical needs of kids, and of a gringo Area Director in Venezuela being expelled from the communist country by Hugo Chávez himself simply for being a gringo and doing what he was doing. Every time I finally don't feel 100% ignorant about the world I hear stories like this and remember that I know nothing.

What Gabriel and his leaders do here is hard work. And I am absolutely ten thousand percent encouraged by them. Just a bunch of ordinary people trying to follow Jesus by going out into the mess that is life and living it with kids. And somehow Jesus' love becomes visible through that. 

Young Life. Stripping away everything that isn't Jesus and his Gospel since 1941.

Also Gabriel told me I have the invite to come back whenever I want because "en Young Life somos familia". I might just quit school in Santiago and go live in Rancagua. Bye losers. 

Also I just remembered I have a $20 Olive Garden gift card so if anyone's tryna go with me in January hmu. 

Also *shout-out* to God because all week I'd been praying that somehow my Spanish would miraculously be better so I could actually communicate with the Young Life folk. WELL GUESS WHO DIDN'T HAVE ANY TROUBLE COMMUNICATING. Somehow between this time last Sunday and now my brain started working. Coincidence or Jesus? WE'LL NEVER KNOW. 

who's an independent country

Every year on September 18th Chile celebrates their independence from Spain. The actual holiday is only Sept. 18, but don't worry Chileans cancel their lives for an entire week to celebrate. So let me just quickly explain why Chile is the best at celebrating independence ever.

They kept the gringos in school (it was canceled for everyone else) until the 17th so the festivities didn't really get started until the 18th, or "Dieciocho" for us. Unfortunately I spent Dieciocho watching Grey's Anatomy with swollen eyes and a lot of mucus in my bed all day.

BUT FRI-SUN WERE GREAT.

On Friday we went to a family birthday bbq. It was super divertido because my family is related to another family in the program who have my gal pal (her name's Eva) so it was great being with a big group of Chileans but also having another gringa for moral support and someone to stare with. My abuela taught me the traditional cueca dance and it made me love her 10,000 times more than I already do. Also Eva's homestay dad (my abuela's cousin's husband) is the best thing to ever happen to anything. For the entire 7 hours of the party he never sat down and I never saw him eat and drink because he just walked around offering people things and LITERALLY PUTTING FORKFULS OF POTATOES IN PEOPLE'S MOUTHS. I would literally finish my drink, set it down, and within <1 second he would be at my side offering me a re-fill. I said no to the wine he offered and he poured me one anyway. I had to turn down a third meat-kabob on three separate offers before he gave up and started offering me choripan instead. And then he caught on that I thought it was funny that a) he never stopped asking me if I wanted something and b) that he added "ito" to everything i.e. pancito, augita, papita, carnecito, terremocito so then he just did it all even more. Bless that sweet old man and his elbow patch sweater. The whole night was just really special because our families (even our extended families) really do everything they possibly can to make us feel included and I am so so thankful for that. It is so special.

On Saturday some gringos and I went to a fonda right by my apartment. Fondas are just big parties that are kinda like fairs that are set up all over Chile for the weekend. Basically they're all just about traditional Chilean food, traditional Chilean drinks, and traditional Chilean dancing. AND IT'S THE BEST. I waited 90 minutes in line to hurt my body with chorrillana (french fries, satueed onions, sausage, beef, and a fried egg). And then we sat on the grass and accidentally watched a band called Inti-Illimani perform. It was just like 5 old dudes playing CLASSIC Chilean music. They did a lot of harmonizing and the instruments they played made the most pleasing sound in the world. It was like a Latin ukulele. And I wanted to weep. I just find it so special that some humans are naturally inclined to play an instrument and then a few humans that have that inclination can get together and and make music that can then have a deeply powerful effect on other humans. One day I'm gonna have to write a blog post titled "Things I Have a Deep Reverence For" so I can expand on this point.

Then I came home and hung with my mom and her friends/family/Eva and I UNDERSTOOD MOST OF THE CONVERSATION/JOKE CONTENT. Something's happening to my brain. Then at midnight (yes they leave at midnight to go out) we left to go see a 20 person band perform. They're called Banda Conmoción and they changed my life forever. 20 people. In one band. I'm talking tubas, trumpets, trombones, symbols, big drums, maracas, EVERYTHING. Plus a dancing devil man. I will never, ever, ever be able to explain how cool it was. Even watching videos of them don't do them any justice. THEY ALL HAD SO MUCH DAMN CHARISMA AND WERE SO MUCH FUN. And they would come into the crowd and do stuff with us. And spray foam on us from the stage. It was the most uniquely entertaining show I have ever seen. And we were the only gringas there. AND IT WAS SO LATIN AMERICAN. I actually feel like I'm wasting my time trying to explain it because it just cannot be explained. So everyone just needs to come to Chile and see them. Glad that's settled. After Banda Conmoción finished it just turned into a Latin dance party (MY FAVORITE THING). *ATTN: only giving the following detail to brag* Word for word verbatim what two guys said to me: "You are not normal United States girl." "Why?" "Because you dance like Latin girl." I CAN DIE HAPPY NOW THANK YOU EVERYONE GOODBYE. Around 3:30 AM we got a taxi ride home and I got to talk to the taxi driver about Jesus. And for some reason I was able to speak Spanish really well in that moment. Just lol at Jesus and life.

4 hours later I woke up to go to church. Met an Australian woman who just moved to Santiago 2 weeks ago because she feels like God wants her to plant a church here. YOUNG SINGLE GALS MOVING ACROSS CONTINENTS BY THEMSELVES TO PLANT CHURCHES. Female empowerment is alive y'all. And to tie in my point about my deep reverence for people making music together,  I have another point I'd like to make. This weekend I saw/felt/learned more about God watching Inti-Illimani and Banda Conmoción than I did at church this morning. AND YES THAT IS ABSOLUTELY A THING. So let's stop confining Jesus to Sunday mornings and Christian events. Because that's just not fair to our big big God. OH MY GOSH MY MOM JUST CAME IN AND HANDED ME A PLATE FULL OF FOOD WHY IS THIS CONSISTENTLY HAPPENING WHILE I WRITE THESE POSTS.

The final leg of the Fiestas Patrias was going to my abuela's house for lunch and having the pug sit on my lap again and then going to a "Bienvenido a Chile Tio Lelo" family/friend party which then kinda awkwardly turned into a "Bienvenido a Chile Tio Lelo and Also a Welcome United States Girl That We Don't Know" party. I love Chile because it's a thing to go around to everyone at the party and touch cheeks and make a kissy sound (I am in third grade for describing it that way) even if you have no idea who they are. You may not even introduce yourselves or ever speak again but YA GOTTA DO THE KISSY ANYWAYS. Basically the party was a hoot and I just love everything about this culture. They fed me more empanadas and by the end of the party they were screaming "Ayyyyy Yessi" and cheering on my newly found Latin hips via the microphone. I guess it's not everyday a big tall white idiot that loves to dance and pretends to be Latin crashes their parties. They were all v entertained. I was filmed multiple times. And I left feeling like everyone was my new best friend. WHY ARE CHILEANS SO FRIENDLY AND WELCOMING AND FUN.

Thank u Jesus for everything. Salsa dancing for Your glory. amen.

post 15 hrs. of culture shock

Hi guys. Turns out I can be just as busy in school abroad as I am in school in the states. Luckily I enjoy writing these posts that OH MY GOSH MY MOM JUST CAME IN AND HANDED ME A SNICKERS BAR FOR NO REASON. AND I WONDER WHY MY PANTS ARE GETTING TIGHT. Anyways, v busy, but since I enjoy writing these lame ass blog posts so much I'll be sure to cut out some time to do so.

There's one thing I really just need to go right on ahead and blog my feelings about. I'M NEVER GONNA LEARN SPANISH. I'm literally so frustrated. My fellow students and I just weep together all day because we all thought we knew Spanish decently well and here we just walk around not understanding anyone except our professors and our home stays who both slow down and enunciate for us. Also the more I learn/read the more I don't understand Spanish sentence structure and rules. So ya. Feeling really discouraged. Everyone tells me that one day it's just gonna click and suddenly I'm gonna understand everything and just start speaking like a normal human. PRAYERS THAT THAT DAY HAPPENS SOMETIME IN THE NEXT 55 YEARS OF MY LIFE.

Chileans continue to be freakishly nice:
Money falls out of my friend's pockets and people return it to them. Sweet old men on bus rides give me and my pals chocolate as a "recuerdo", or a memory. I snag free taxi rides because other people happen to be going in the same direction and just pay to have me dropped off on the way. Bus station attendants run to catch buses from leaving when we miss them on accident. I fall asleep in the USAC building and I wake up to a heater directly in front of me set up by the janitor woman. And this morning the taxi man taught me how to say eleventh, twelfth, thirty-first, seventy-fifth etc. in Spanish. Seriously, bless the Chilenos.

Here's a two second recap of my weekend: Took a bus to Viña del Mar/Valparaíso. Went on a boat. Climbed up sand dunes. LOL'ed at creation. Ate a big ass burrito. Drank a DIRTY CHAI LATTE WITH SOY MILK at STARBUCKS with Cadi and Evelyn. Felt like I was back in the Central Coast of California. Accidentally ended up in a fruit and veggie mercado in Valpo alone. Felt like I was in South America (which I am, lol). ATE THE BEST MEAL OF MY ENTIRE LIFE in a local restaurant famous for chorrillana (french fries, sautéed onions, eggs, and MEAT) that no tourists know about. Paid 100 pesos (<$.25) to almost die in an ascensor (basically an outdoor elevator that goes up at a slight slant). Took a bus home Saturday night to be back for #santiagosundays which I LOVE. Every Sunday I go to church and then my mom pickes me up to go to my Abuela's house where we go to a market in the suburbs (again, no tourists, luv it) and then I get fed traditional Chilean food and am forced to speak Spanish. AND I LOVE IT. All in all, gr8 gr8 weekend.

However...

I think I finally experienced that thing called "culture shock" yesterday because EVERYTHING ANNOYED ME. Here's a bullet point list of things that annoyed me:

• I will never, ever blend in here. Getting CONSTANTLY stared at and always feeling like you're walking around NAKED starts to wear ya down quick. 
• The fact that it's winter here. I don't wanna wear 3 jackets anymore. 
• I have a bad bad cold and searched 3 stores for cough drops only to find out that they're in the CANDY SECTION because people eat Halls as candy here. WHY. 
• There's no High Street Deli, Nautical Bean, Firestone, Tahoe Joe's, Trader Joe's, Bagel Shack or In-N-Out here. How dare you, Chile. 
• People use public transport at the same time as I do. Talk about UGH. 
• They don't speak English here. Like c'mon guys, is it THAT hard. 

They warned us this would happen. They warned us in a few weeks we'd hate everything about everything until we settled in post-culture shock. And I said NOT A CHANCE I love Chile and Spanish too much. I hate when psychology is right. But last night I prayed for a change of heart about my current 'tude. AND GUESS WHAT. Woke up feeling like a new woman. So that's right everyone. I experienced culture shock for a whopping 15 hours. Just now I did what I think was some post culture shock settling in. I reorganized my entire room, hung up some decor, and drank some water. FEELING GOOD FOLKS. Love you Chile.

Also, I have now reached the 3 weeks sin leg shave mark. It's really just a game now. HOW LONG CAN I HOLD OUT.

Also, also, if you wanna read a blog series that's rocking my world please read this. Rob Bell explains the Bible in a way that FINALLY MAKES SENSE. I would especially suggest this blog series to people who aren't fans of Jesus and who really have a distaste for how they've seen Christianity and the Bible presented in the past. The way he talks about Jesus and the world gets me so PUMPED. And Christians, please don't let any preconceived notions about R.B. stop you from reading this. SEE 4 YA SELVES IT'S GR8 STUFF. See link below.

http://robbellcom.tumblr.com/post/66107373947/what-is-the-bible

fresh whiffs

Happy Tuesday, everyone! I ate Taco Bell for lunch so I'm still burping up that *~international flavor~* as I write this. A happy Tuesday indeed.

I'm a real student at a real school in Chile now except for not actually a real student because I only take classes with Americans and I mostly just get stared at walking on campus because I'm so obviously not a real student here. All my classes are in Spanish. Which means all my homework is in Spanish. Also I only speak Spanish with my home stay. Also the entire country speaks Spanish. So basically this exhausts my brain and I get in my bed AND DIE for 8 hours every night.

Some highlights you should know about:

Last Tuesday night, my family and I went to my tio's 25th birthday party at my abuelos' house in the suburbs of Santiago. At one point all the lights were turned off and the birthday cake was lit and we were all singing feliz cumpleaños and it was a very special 'how did I end up in a living room with a big Chilean family singing happy birthday to my tio' moment.

I secretly LOVE having to take taxis because it means there's another human TRAPPED in a car that I can force to speak Spanish with me.

Tried an empanada place by my school for the first time. I took one bit of my doble queso empanada and immediately kissed my pre-study abroad body goodbye because I have never enjoyed a mouthful of grease more. I will be back at least 8 times daily.

There's two street dogs that are always at the corner where the said empanada place is. They attack cars and bite the fenders and stuff but they're probably really nice dogs, just misunderstood. They wear little doggy vests to keep them warm. I mostly just wonder who does their laundry.

I COULD NOT HAVE CHOSEN A WORSE COUNTRY TO LEARN SPANISH IN. My professors have openly admitted this to us. Chileans just speak so fast and don't pronounce ANYTHING and have a lot of strange slang. But I'm getting it. I really am. Slowly but surely.

I am absolutely obsessed with all doormen/security guards in this country. And yes, I will make that generalization based off the 3 doormen in my apartment and the 1 security guard at my school that I know. All so wonderful and friendly and love to indulge me by letting me talk to them about literally pointless things just so I can practice speaking. Also 50% of them are named Luis. I think 50% of this country might be named Luis.

Mullets are such a thing here. Still unsure about my feelings regarding this subject.

I HAVE BEEN ASKED ON TWO SEPARATE OCCASIONS FOR DIRECTIONS. Twice. Both times by Spanish speakers asking me in Spanish. Why they would EVER choose to ask me out of all people I will never understand.

On Monday me and two others stood in front of a coffee vending machine debating for 5 minutes whether or not the coffee will come in a cup or if you have to have your own cup ready to catch the coffee that pours out. Sometimes it's just hard being foreign.

I'm never not hungry here. I had 2 lunches and dessert 3 times today. I'M ALWAYS HUNGRY AND I CAN'T STOP.

I learned how to meringue and salsa at dance class today. I even danced with real Chilean men. I felt like a real woman which I really needed because I haven't shaved my legs in over two weeks. In fact I haven't even seen my legs in over two weeks. It's cold and central heating doesn't exist in Chile.

But enough about my overgrown body hairs, IT'S TIME TO CUT ALL THE BS and get to the meat and papas of this blog post. I learned a big LIFE LESSON this week. On Thursday night, I went with my mom's 30 something year old salsa-dancing dread-locked male friend to an exclusive invite-only cocktail party he was working. You know, going to cocktail parties full of established fancy folk with an almost-stranger are not necessarily on my list of favorite things to do but I figured it'd be good practice for my Spanish and like when else will I go to an exclusive cocktail party in another country? 

OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS IT WAS AWFUL. If you know me, large social situations and talking to strangers are generally a strongpoint of mine. But WOW NOT THIS NIGHT. I was SO uncomfortable. The only way I could make myself even slightly comfortable was to grab a martini and pretend to be someone I wasn't. I made some bad calls and acted in a way that is not who I am or who I want to be. Long story short, I got home that night feeling awful. But I could not be MORE THANKFUL for that night. And let me tell you why.

I know God let me have that night so he could give me a reminder of why I chose Him in the first place. A reminder of what leaves me feeling empty. A reminder of what it feels like to place myself first and hurt people in the process. BUT MOST OF ALL, a reminder of what it feels like to choose to live outside of what I've found in Jesus. THX 4 THE REMINDERS GOD THEY'RE MUCH APPRECIATED. I learned that while I'm here (or anytime for that matter) I can't compromise who I am or what my passions are or what I care about or what I like to do just because it seems easier at the moment to do so. That is literally no way to live. So, just feeling extra liberated to pursue Jesus while I'm here and not be ashamed to do so.  I feel like I got a fresh whiff of Jesus air and I'm ready to go out and run after love and justice like it's nobody's business. Turns out Jesus likes to work through nights of pear martinis and mistakes and I could not love him more for that.

When Jesus says he wants to give us freedom, he means it. AND IMA GO RIGHT ON AHEAD AND SOAK THAT FREEDOM UP.

Also UGH keep thinking of more things I love about Jesus. After all this, I never felt condemned by God. I never felt like he was mad at me. I only felt the presence of a God who loves me just the way I am but loves me too much to let me stay like that.

Ok, I'm done.

Peace and blessings y'all it's 12:45 in the morning here and I'm ready to hit my tasmanian devil sheets. Yes, I do sleep on tasmanian devil sheets that say "some things require great concentration" all over them. Bye.

PS YOU SHOULD SEND ME MAIL.

My address is this:

Jessica Jansen

Programa USAC

Universidad Andrés Bello

Avenida República 470, Piso 1

Santiago, Chile- South America

Postal Code 8370251

Rumor is it takes about 4 weeks for mail to get here. Just a FYI. And also if you send something and I don't thank you profusely for it and write a 12 page love letter showering you in praises back to you, it means I didn't get it.

still in Chile

Hey guys. Don't worry. I'm still in Chile. But actually, you should worry because I'm never leaving.

The past 5 days:

I showed up at the orientation hotel at 7am the day the program began. Everyone on the group flight wasn't supposed to show up until 11am so I was thinking that I would probably have to sit in the lobby and cry for all four hours until my fellow humans arrived. BUT NOPE. The desk man took me right back to my room where I lied in a BIG, COMFY BED for 4 hours and pooped in a PRIVATE BATHROOM twice without having to pay money to get in. After two weeks of staying in hostels and three nights in a row of sleeping on buses I was soaking up every minute of my new diva life.

And then all of a sudden there was ~40 people my age in the hotel and I was obsessed with all of them. My program directors are also a gift from the God above. Luis is the big man in charge. He wore the same mint button down shirt and black scarf both days of orientation and I love him. Brenda is an actual angel who somehow has every possible detail about all 40 of us memorized. It might be the most impressive part about the country of Chile. And Jorge is just Jorge and that's all you need to know.

I said I would never bumble around Chile with 40 Americans but I absolutely lied. I bumbled on night one. 20 of us went to a club the first night and we were so obnoxious that the bouncers made sure to put us on the private top floor ALONE. I asked the DJ to play my favorite Daddy Yankee song about 12 times and he never did and I'm still offended about that.

My home stay is the best thing that has ever happened to Chilean Jansen. Marjorie, my mom, is a 36-year-old single mom who runs the world. I also have a 9-year-old little brother named Francisco who sometimes talks to me when he's not playing video games. Oh and one time we played basketball. We live in an apartment in Providencia where I have my own room and my OWN BATHROOM. Great water pressure in the shower. Also the biggest worry I had about my home stay before I got here was what the pillows on my bed would be like. As a frequent tummy sleeper, I CAN'T STAND FLUFFY PILLOWS. I really just love a nice, flat surface to lay my head at night. MY PILLOWS COULD NOT BE MORE PERFECT AND FLAT. I really really really love Marjo because she likes to swear a lot and also has never cooked anything that I wasn't obsessed with. She laughs almost as much and as loud as I do and we never stop cracking jokes. She's wild. Just tonight she told me about the time that she accidentally shit her pants in an elevator. My home stay could not be more different from what I pictured but I could not be more pleased. I LOVE THEM BOTH SO MUCH AND I'VE ONLY KNOW THEM FOR 5 DAYS HELP I'M NEVER LEAVING.

My first Friday night in Chile: My social b-fly mom had her friends over for a dinner party. She made ginger pisco sours and pad thai. I didn't understand 95% of the dinner conversation because Chileans talk really fast and give them some alcohol AND THEY TALK FASTER. I salsa danced in my living room with a man with dreads. His name was Esteban. He's a photographer/publicist and has the hook-up for VIP parties and free drinks. Do you think he'll let in a Christian girl that taps out at 2 drinks and can't dance seriously ever? I hope so. I finally retreated to my room at 1:43 AM. The next morning I found out they raged until 5am. My life will never be the same.

Yesterday I explored one part of Santiago with some pals from my program. We found a fruit/veggie market AND I ATE A CLEMENTINE THAT ALMOST REPLACED JESUS IN MY HEART. Literally the fruit here is like nothing I have ever tasted before. IT IS SO DAMN GOOD. Everyone needs to come to Chile and eat the fruit before they die. And in October when we get deep into the fruit season my mom told me fruit is cheaper than anything and that I can buy a box of berries for $1. ONE DOLLAR FOR BERRIES. I'm also drowning in avocados here. It's on everything and so so cheap. Jesus is real.

Also last night I got in the car with a stranger and ended up at a Chilean house party. Remind me to never let my kids study abroad.

But better than the Chilean house party, I went to CHURCH this morning and it was so special and wonderful and wow Jesus is real. LITERALLY HE IS SETTING ME UP HERE. Much more to say about that at a later date. I spent the rest of the day at my Abuela's house in the suburbs of Santiago. She is just as crazy as my mom and she speaks Spanish so fast but I'm starting to get the hang of their extreme speed. Shout out to the human brain for that one. I also spent some time behind the counter of the mini market my mom's cousin owns. It was SO South American. Just this little hole in the wall market where all the neighborhood folk come in to buy fresh bread, 3 liter sodas, and cigarettes. I really had one of those "how did I get here" moments sitting behind the counter. Life is so funny.

ALSO PEOPLE HERE ARE THE NICEST HUMANS. Here's some examples of weird happenings because people are so nice.

1. I took an overnight bus by myself back to Santiago from La Serena. First the man sitting behind me offered me a blanket. I kindly accepted. About twenty minutes later, the bus attendant TAPPED ME AWAKE to offer me two more blankets. I must have looked really cold and helpless or something idk.

2. They love to affirm my Spanish skills even when I only say as much as "buenas dias". Taxi drivers also love to put on Don Omar or Daddy Yankee when I mention that I love them.

3. A couple offered me a beer while I was walking down the street. Might have been more weird than nice.

Other important things:

1. For lunch on day two I had my first completo--a classic Chilean item. It's a hot dog. But like huge. Gigantic actually. Except for it's actually only about 10% hot dog, 20% bun, 10% strange liquidy avocado, and 60% mayonnaise. Still not sure how I feel about them.

2. One day I came home and was greeted with 3 greasy homemade cheese empanadas after not eating anything all day except for 2 clementines, a few french fries, and a beer. I could eat those empanadas for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the rest of my life and never look back.

3. My dread locked salsa partner Esteban and his friend found out my middle name is Rose and they insisted I introduce myself as "Yessica Rosa" from now on. I've tried it out a few times and man it's a hit with the Chileans. ALSO LOOKS LIKE I FOUND MY LATINA POP STAR NAME.

4. Really starting to get the hang of the bus and metro system here. I've navigated myself alone to different places on 3 separate occasions already. And one of those times I only had to ask 4 separate people which bus I had to take to get to my metro stop. I also have a ghetto phone here with a REAL CHILEAN PHONE NUMBER. So like yeah I am that city bitch texting on her cell phone while navigating public transport. Get @ me.

5. I'm also cheating Chile's economy. My first night here I accidentally didn't bring enough money out and only paid 1,000 pesos for a 3,500 peso drink. FOR THE RECORD THE BARTENDER ACCEPTED THAT AMOUNT KNOWINGLY. I also got let onto the bus without paying (twice) because I ran out of money on my Bip! card. I'm so sorry Chile. But you know who's really scraping by is the STREET DOGS. One dog got on and off the bus with us without paying a dime! But lol because nothing's funnier than the fact that I saw a street dog use public transportation.

6. Also taking the metro to church this morning there was a guy very openly singing a Sugar Ray song VERY LOUDLY that was also playing VERY LOUDLY through his headphones. And then I kid you not another guy started singing along to his music. So yeah I was surrounded by two people singing two separate songs--both off key--on public transport. Bless the Sabbath.

7. Also this quote has been rocking my world this week: "I believe that God is making all things new. I believe that Christ overcame death and that pattern is apparent all through life and history: life from death, water from a stone, redemption from failure, connection from alienation. I believe that suffering is part of the narrative, and that nothing really good gets built when everything's easy. I believe that loss and emptiness and confusion often give way to new fullness and wisdom". From a book called Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist. What a woman.


I dedicate this blog post to Claire Shannon and Allie Davis. This post only has about 40% of what I'd like to share but you can thank them for pressuring me to post TONIGHT. Also don't tell my mom and dad about the house party. Gonna go hang out with Jesus now. Bye everyone.

LIVE FROM CHILE

JANSEN HERE REPORTING LIVE FROM LA SERENA, CHILE. I've been out of the American game for 14 days now and I have lots to share. Like a lot. Very detailed information that maybe like 5 of you will actually care about. But I'm doing it for those 5! And for 27 year old Jessica Jansen to read later and reminisce on. Vamos. 

Did NOT enjoy saying goodbye to my mom and dad at the airport. Mostly because John Jansen insists on escorting me as far as he can go without getting yelled at by airport security and then will stand at that spot until he can't see me anymore. I had to hold back the waterworks the entire security line because their goodbye meant that I was really saying sayonara to everyone and everything I know and love and am comfortable with for 4.5 months. YES I KNOW IM A BABY BECAUSE 4.5 MONTHS ISN'T EVEN LONG. And that I'll have to get used to it if I ever wanna live the *~missionary life~*. Baby steps, y'all. But then I remembered that Jesus comforts us in our sorrows because I had an entire 3 seat row to myself for the 14 hour flight. I spent 12 of those hours using all 3 of them. And to think I had regretted not requesting a window seat. An aged Spencer Pratt look-alike sat across the aisle from me. We kept making awkward eye contact because I never stopped staring at him. Spitting image. WHERE WAS HEIDI. 

Also, a second s/o to Jesus: The last few days before my departure I started to get pretty nervy/anxious about the whole leaving the country forever thing. Was especially high-stress the morning of. I had all my prayer squads praying for me and I was talking to Jesus overtime. When I sat down in the gate to get on the plane, overwhelming peace and confidence hit me like a tidal wave. So thx to all mah saints for keeping me in your thoughts. 

14 hours later give or take I landed in Santiago, Chile and successfully navigated my way ALONE to my pal Cadi's house 6 hours away which left me feeling like a v independent woman. The sun was rising over the Andes as I drove out of Santiago and I was just sitting there nice and greasy and rugged on the bus with this stupid smile on my face. Just reaaaally felt like I was right where I was supposed to be. But OOH for all you praying types: This is gonna be four months away from real school, work, and leading Young Life. BASICALLY I REALIZED GODS GIVEN ME A LONG ASS SABBATICAL AND IM NOT TRYNA WASTE IT. Pray that I use this time to seek Jesus's big beautiful face and his purpose for me being here. Why yes, I absolutely will selfishly exploit this blog for my own prayer requests. 

Anywho, I got off the bus in Coquimbo and waited at the station for my trusty pal Cadi to come pick me up. Apparently when you're 5'10", albino, blonde, and have blue eyes you get stared at a lot here. Can't quite figure out why. People would walk by and comment on the "solita rubia" or the "blonde all alone". I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING PEOPLE. 

Finally Cadi came to my rescue and took me to her Chilean beach mansion and wow I immediately fell in love with her nasaly beagle. Also her entire family are the most wonderful and welcoming people in the entire world. They took me to a picada (what Chileans call the small family restaurants all over the place) and bought me my first drink as an unofficial 21 year old. Pisco sours man, they'll get ya. 

Oh btw, Cadi. Caroldiana Schneider. Born in Chile and raised by abalone farming American parents. Cadi and I met when she moved to California to go to college. She wasn't raised in a religious family but went to a private Catholic school in Chile because everyone goes to Catholic school in Chile. But lol she was so opposed to the idea of God that she was the only one in her class who refused to take communion. And she loved frustrating the religion class teachers with her hard questions and pride in her atheism. She became a Christian her sophomore year of college and now she's obsessed with Jesus. LOL THERE HE GOES AGAIN. She is a recent Cal Poly grad who majored in psychology and now wants to get her masters in trauma to open a restoration home in India for victims of sex trafficking. In her free time she enjoys sleeping on cardboard outside in Compton and being used by Jesus to physically heal people through prayer in the Tenderloin of San Francisco. She also looks just like me and people constantly ask us if we are sisters or twins. So you can imagine how well we blended in with the Peruvians. 

The 2 of us accidental Jesus lovers left the next morning to begin the pilgrimage to Peru. Which started with two 12 hour bus rides back to back and then a third 6 hour long ride. PERU 2014 NO REGRETS. 

By the time we got to Arequipa we were beyond excited to get off the buses and ready to get weird. That night mama got her first real taste of being in the country. We went to dinner and got Arequipeña cervezas and put up a cheers to the real start of our trip. Next came our soup. MINE HAD A FULL CHICKEN CLAW IN IT. But Cadi got a chicken claw AND a chicken penis in hers. Some girls are so lucky. I had a large craving for ice cream after a full tummy of chicken claw soup so we got some. You know how when you taste test different flavors in the states they give you a new spoon every time? Nope, not in Peru. They just ask for your slobbery salivated on used spoon back and dip it into the next flavor you wanna try. What are health codes? LOVE IT PERU. LOVE IT. 

We found our hostel for the night by asking our taxi man to take us to one cheap and close to the Plaza de Armas. Our hostel didn't end up being cheap or close to the plaza but it did end up being 5 buildings down from a church. Great job Jesus. So the next morning we went to church and it was so special and magical. All the women in the world came up to us and hugged and kissed us on our cheeks and made us feel SO welcome. The worship was a rock show for Christ. I'm talking guitar, drums, choreographed dancers, the whole deal. One of the songs had a part where everyone spun in a circle during the chorus. Watching the 75 year old woman in front of me spin in a circle while singing to Jesus was my entire heart. THEY ALSO HAD A SKIT AND A TRADITIONAL DANCE WITH OUTFITS AND EVERYTHING. We watched 7 people say yes to Jesus at the end and it was SO SPECIAL. Praying that they continue to say yes. The service was very different from what I'm used to.  Learning to embrace our huge God and the ways different cultures respond to him. I mean WHY SHOULDN'T WE HAVE CHOREOGRAPHED DANCERS AT CHURCH.

After the service we were walking to get breakfast and an older man coming from church too spotted us behind him and got so excited waving to us that he slightly fell off the curb. Just this old sweet friendly spanish speaking man in his Sunday best walking down the street holding his Bible. That's the stuff that warms my heart right there. 

We ended up getting breakfast in a café looking out on the Plaza de Armas and watched a large group of Arequipeñas all doing a traditional dance in celebration of the holiday together out in the square. Te amo Peru, te amo.

After bfast we took a city tour like a couple of 52 year olds in matching Teva sandals. And the worst  part was we were actually wearing matching Teva sandals. Even though we were with a large group of bumbling tourists I loved it because it took us to the outskirts of town where we got a better picture of life for the people there. Which is what interests me most anyways. And we saw alpacas. So that was cool. 

The next morning two white girls get on a Peruvian bus. First of all, the bus looked like it was from 1962. Good thing I love being driven on cliff edges for 6 hours on 50 passenger buses from 1962. Before we leave, the busman walks through the aisle with a video camera to film everyone's faces in case anyone wants to pull any funny business (like hijacking the bus and killing us all, I guess lol). So at this point I was feeling really safe. About an hour in I watched a man pee into a plastic grocery bag. And then hold that plastic bag on his lap for the next 2 hours. Maybe he did that because stopping at a "rest stop" looks like the bus pulling to the side of the road and all the Peruvians piling out and taking squats together. Maybe the pee-bag man was just embarrassed to squat on the road SO HE JUST DID IT ON THE BUS INSTEAD. I have so much to learn from this country. In the meantime, another man sold vials of healing blood (demonstration included) and the majority of the bus riders bought them. Also I was getting SO MAD because it was 10,000 degrees on the bus and everyone was wearing 2 alpaca sweaters and a beanie. WHY ARENT YOU ALL SWEATING. When we finally got to Puno and exited the bus I only had to walk past one girl throwing up on the bus floor. I swear I am not exaggerating any of this. All part of God's beautiful world.

Tangent: Love love love Peru and it's people and it's culture but this specific bus ride was pretty eye opening. It's just so different than what I'm used to. Not better or worse. Just different. We drove through some pretty desolate towns. I was really reminded like ok this a third world country. And if I ever were to actually move to Peru or another third world country it would be no joke. And it would be really hard. And gosh darn if I ever actually do it it will be 100% by strength from the Lord. Which is absolutely terrifying because that could be as soon as July (!!!) which is also absolutely exciting. Tangent over.

So in case you all didn't know there's manmade floating islands in Peru and I know this because WE SLEPT ON ONE. These islands were built by the Uru people in order to escape attack from the Incas. "Hey those Incans are pretty wild. Let's just build an island in the middle of Lake Titicaca so they can't get us." GOOD THINKIN PEOPLE OF URU. Loved hangin w/ u guys. We were the only people there who didn't live on the island full time. Also the only ones who didn't speak their language, Aymara. They served us fresh trout with the eyeball still in place (really easing into my taste for fish here) and rice and papas fritas with this spicy green sauce that rocked my effing world. Cadi and I are officially declaring the islands as the new 10-40 window and we'd like to return to preach the Gospel and sleep in our reed hut once again. 

Also, v weird happenings on the islands. We were packing up in our reed hut and Cadi randomly asked one question out of our "4,000 questions for getting to know anyone and everyone" book YES I BROUGHT IT AND I LOVE IT about how you handle situations when they don't go as planned. We both admitted that we're not very good with it and we'd like to do better. About 15 minutes later, OUR SITUATION DIDNT GO AS PLANNED. As if God watched us answer that question and was like "oh great let's work on that then". We were getting really sad and bitter our plan didn't work out but then we were like HELLO what question did we just read. Then we lol'ed at God and lol'ed at how silly we were and felt better about everythinh. 

Onward to Cusco. Our first night in Cusco was one of my favies. Me and Cadi accidentally talked about Jesus for 3 hours over a hot plate of alpaca meat. Literally for 3 hours we just got going discussing theology (how you understand/interpret God as he is revealed in the Bible) and challenged each other on topics we disagreed on. AND IT WAS A ROCKIN GOOD TIME. Man, that stuff is so interesting. Nothing wrong with some healthy disagreement folks. And NOTHING wrong with asking questions. Let's get better at both of those things. And not forget that all that stuff is secondary to the fact that Jesus died for us, conquered death for us, and is now living + breathing + moving with us. CAN I GET AN AMEN. 

The next morning we headed off to Aguas Calientes, the town that you access Machu Picchu from. Instead of paying $150 for a short taxi ride and a relaxing train ride with pleasant scenery we paid $35 for a 6 hour long van ride on a cliff edge and a BEAUTIFUL 2.5 hour walk on train tracks through literally the most beautiful scenery ever. Always tryna save a buck for some queso helado. At one point on the cliff death ride we approached a bridge thousands of feet up in the air and I thought "hmm what a nice rickety homemade bridge with no rails for pedestrians" until our van took a sharp Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland turn and I realized IT'S FOR US and luckily we made it across safely before I even had time to cry. But really, our nature walk was glorious and I was just blessing the feet of Jesus the entire time for being big enough to make a world so incredible and also personal enough to listen to anything and everything I say to him. 

8 days into the trip the day for Machu Picchu FINALLY ARRIVED. Mama was most excited for this. I always said I would see Machu Picchu with my husband but that husband doesn't exist and this single, independent woman is in Peru and doing it. Sorry future Mr. Jessica Jansen, maybe next time. We made it to Machu by 7am and started our tour. I had a weird crush on our tour guide. He was probably 5'5" and 32 years old but he was just very sweet and wore a fedora and kept saying "looks, guys" and "looks at this, guys" and "we go for to see the temple". Maybe he's my future husband. BOY WOULD THAT BE A TWIST. After our v interesting history lesson (the Incas are literally the smartest people) Cadi and I embarked on our Machu Picchu Mountain hike. We weren't sure what to expect but don't worry it quickly turned into me destroying my entire body. It literally was 1 hour and 45 minutes of going straight up. But the only reason it was hard was because of the high altitude, our lack of sleep, and the fact that all we had eaten was 4 pieces of white bread and a slice of ham. Oh and a small orange that our hostel mates (a mom and her 12 year old son) had given us because they saw us at Machu and are just GENEROUS AND WONDERFUL and wanted to give us their oranges. Anyways the hike being hard had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that my workout regimen for the ENTIRE summer consisted of 2 runs and 1 and a half zumba classes. So like ya definitely not because I'm out of shape. 

If I had to do a terrain analysis of the hike I would say it was 4% flat ground with rocks jutting out, 61% impossibly steep rock steps that were very uneven and couldn't fit my size 10 foot on them which led to a lot of uncomfortable side stepping, and 35% of those same rock steps except on a cliff edge with not a lot of room for error. So here we are 20 minutes into this death hike and I get to the top of a staircase and LOCK EYES WITH A JUNGLE BEAR. WHAT ARE BEARS DOING IN THE JUNGLES OF PERU. We turned right around and waited it out letting a couple other potential bear victims pass warning them of their fate until we worked up the courage to move forward. Happy to inform that there was not another jungle bear sighting. 

Fast forward through an hour and 25 minutes of not being able to breathe and we made it to heavens gates. I kid you not. We were in the sky. Surrounded by mountains and parallel with snow topped peaks. WE WERE THAT HIGH IN THE MOUNTAINS. Literally in the clouds. Something that awful had never been so worth it. There were probably 15 of us humans at the top. And it was silent. We were spread out all sitting in silence just taking in da surroundings. There was just this sense of awe and worship. I find it fascinating that all people have a natural tendency to worship. Whether people were meditating, thanking Jesus, or just feeling the need to stay silent and breathe the mountain air--it was all worship. And I believe it's because humans are hard-wired to do so. Pretty special moment 3,082 meters up in the air. 

Other lessons I took away from the death hike: 

1. People are just the best. This trail is full of people from all over the world who speak all different languages and yet everyone coming down the trail was doing their best to encourage the people going up. I'm telling you, everyone NEEDED it. This trail was a real doozy. 

2. I find it so fascinating that humans find comfort in each other. Like if it was just Cadi and I on that death bear and ankle breaking trap ridden trail running low on water I would have been PANICKED. But because I knew all these other humans were in it with us I was a-ok. If you don't know me, you'll soon realize I have a deep reverence for my fellow humans. 

3. It's good to challenge ourselves from time to time. About 5 minutes into the hike Cadi and I both realized it was the last thing on planet earth we wanted to do right then. But we kept going. We knew we should. So we did. And man, we felt so effing accomplished. Important to do that for ourselves once in a while. 

And 2 other realizations on this day:

1. I am so thankful for this opportunity to be abroad and be in new places. And I know without a doubt that this is what I'm supposed to be doing for right now. But the traveling vagabond life is not for me. The part of life I value most is relationships with people. And it's hard to enjoy that part of life when you're packing up and moving every day. Although these 2 weeks have been GR8 time to get to know my sweet Caroldiana. But I'm just saying--if I had to choose one place to be for the rest of my life it would be at the dinner table with my best friends. Not Machu Picchu. Even as sexy as Machu Picchu might be. 

2. The last few days of our trip we had been just a couple of real tourist gals. Which is gr8 and fun but it definitely has it's place. My favorite moments here are the times I don't feel like a tourist (aka like at the church in Arequipa). Or when I'm watching two little girls share candy sitting on the curb while their mom sells stuff to people driving by in traffic. Or when we're chatting to Uru villagers that pulled up to the island in their boat to grab a gallon of gas. THAT'S THE PART OF TRAVEL I LIKE. Which is why I feel so inclined to move abroad, not just travel. AND which is why if I ever go to Mexico it's gonna be with my Mexican pals Chuy and Vicky (shout out to you Chu if you're working on your English reading this right now!) 

Other things:

1. Nothing has been more embarrassing than syringing food out of my wisdom tooth holes in the bus stop bathrooms. Dental care isn't one of Peru's strengths. So many confused looks. I have never felt like a bigger diva. 

2. So many women walk around in the traditional Peruvian clothing. Look 4 pics on my fb. I LOVE the outifts. Peruvian ladies are lookin' fly. But it's just such an interesting mix of old and new culture. 

3. Dawgs everywhere. Really missing all my doggy pals (Jack, Riley, Maggie, and Coral) back in the states. Luv u guys. 

4. Peruvians have a very distinct look. Their faces. It's just so distinct.  

5. It's chill to have your kids at work. It's even chill to have your boobs out feeding them while you're at work. Pretty cool. 

6. TOILET PAPER IS SUCH A COMMODITY. I once held a poop for 18 hours because every baño we had gone to didn't have toilet paper and I kept forgetting to buy some. Can't blame anyone but myself for that one. 

7. There's this one really strange game show that everyone's obsessed with. They even watch old episodes on YouTube. Which made me realize that I can't leave Chile without being on a Chilean game show. Cadi knows just the one I need to apply for so we are gonna be sending that email very soon. 

8. Because Cadi is Chilean she speaks Spanish with a Chilean accent. Which means I can't understand anything she says. She pronounces "vamos" as "amo". CADI YOU FORGOT THE V AND THE S. Instead of forgetting how to speak English I might just never speak again. 

9. Jesus is everywhere. I mean like hanging on rearview mirrors, on the back of buses, in statue form on hilltops, in stores, in restaurants, in hostels, EVERYWHERE. It's almost such a cultural thing that people are desensitized to who he truly is. Cadi, for example, grew up with Jesus everywhere and went to Catholic school and yet knew nothing about him. Praying that we can all become more aware of Jesus as a revolutionary God who saves and brings hope and is interested in us and not just as the guy who's picture is on the wall. 

10. Realized I'm gonna miss being called Jansen. Including the more intimate/endearing forms (Jansey, Jans). WHO WILL CALL ME THAT HERE. No one because I never introduce myself as that. 

11. Also it is so fun and surprising to hear my favorite Spanish songs that I normally only hear under my Spotify playlist "shakira > everything" on the radio. People actually listen to this stuff which is so GREAT. Finally people that understand me. 

12. Getting as far as Aguas Calientes and back we spent a total of 92 hours on buses/vans. I know it sounds like everyone's nightmare. But it was the cheapest we could get to Peru without planning ahead and it wasn't even bad ! ! ! I'm actually grateful for it because we drove through towns and farmlands and ways of life I would have never seen had we flown. We drove through some pretty real poverty too. Which was a real eye opener. And important. 

13. Wouldn't have wanted to do this with anyone but Cadi. She points me to Jesus 24/7. She also does a great job of reminding me that the Holy Spirit is a thing. Like wow Jesus does incredible things through us if we just let him. And because we don't have exactly the same faiths it was so great to learn from and encourage each other in different areas. Ugh. Love you boo boo :-* Move to Santiago with me. 

14. Also so glad to be sitting in Cadi's living room reunited with her nasaly dog and writing this with hot tea in my hand and my clothes in the laundry. 

15. The weirdest part about all of this is that I did this big trip but I'm not coming home. Like I'm just back in Chile after all this. FOR 4 MORE MONTHS. I can just kiss those In-N-Out fantasies goodbye. 

Congratulations on making it to the end of this post. I love you all a lot.

Brb, gonna go start school and move in with some Chileans. Bye.