I have enough feelings to write seven thousand blog posts right now.
SEVEN THOUSAND BLOG POSTS.
Last time I had you here I was sitting in the airport in Denver about to go to Young Life staff training symposium. IT WAS GREAT. The whole time I was there all I could think was 'how am I here right now' 'how did this happen' 'when did I accept a job on YL staff' 'how am I sitting in business casual with 49 other staff people in a hotel conference room' 'thank you jesus' 'thank you jesus' 'thank you jesus'. THE WHOLE TIME. By the time it was over I had so many pent up feelings that all I could do was be THAT WEEPING GIRL alone at the gate waiting for my plane to board. And then I started reading 2 Corinthians and then Carrie Underwood's "Something In The Water" came on and it was game over.
I have just never felt more sure that I am supposed to be doing something.
I feel like I was literally made to do this.
MADE.
On the plane home I had to physically stop what I was doing multiple times just to sit and thank Jesus and *~reflect~* and what he's brought me through and to.
BIGGEST LESSON OF 2015 SO FAR: God knows me and my heart and exactly what I need so perfectly always. Better than I know myself. I just need to stop making plans ever because God's always gonna come in with a curveball and it's always gonna be better than what I had in mind.
Less than 36 hours after I had arrived in Denver, I was flying back into Orange County, drinking a margarita with John and Melanie Jansen and asleep in my bed.
Since then I've been back in San Luis Obispo FINISHING COLLEGE. I graduate in 7 days. Lolz.
Other things:
In Young Life we do what we call "incarnational ministry". Meaning in addition to sharing the Gospel with high schoolers using words, we believe that we can actually be Jesus to our high schoolers. Our last SLO High Young Life event of the year was a formal dinner at In-N-Out. Psalm 23:5 talks about how Jesus prepares a table for us. And here I was at In-N-Out setting plastic tablecloths and tea lights and gold plates down for my high school friends PREPARING A PLACE FOR THEM. It was the most spiritual moment for me. I was literally doing for my friends what God does for us. "We love because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19). I was lol'ing.
After our *~fancy dinner~* I got to hold one of my YL gal's two week old labradoodle puppies. I have never been so affected by something. I cried while holding it and then came home and started crying while I was describing the experience to my roommates. IF YOU HEARD THOSE PUPPY NOISES YOU'D BE CRYING TEARS OUT OF YOUR FACE TOO. IT DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TEETH. Life altering, just life altering.
On June 4th, 2015 I gave a presentation on something I knew nothing about in my last college class ever. GOING OUT WITH A BANG AM I RIGHT.
I realized that my worst fear is swimming in a lap pool with a lady holding a clipboard watching me. Worst. Fear.
I feel like I've talked about crying a lot in this blog post. I promise I'm emotionally stable. But here's three other times I cried this week: Last Thursday night Bible study with some of my very best friends. Last 7am Friday morning Bible study with Johnny May. And a Sentimental YL Dinner with all the leaders from my generation that have been doing Young Life together for 4 years+. ALL VERY HAPPY TEARS.
Also today:
Sometimes you wake up feeling like a floppy sloppy lonely sad idiot. That was today for me. So I went to a friend's house and we made breakfast and we chatted. I thought being able to talk about some stuff going on would turn my mood around. It didn't. But you know what did make me feel better? Hearing my friend talking about the less than ideal situation in her life. (Sidenote: it's just really great to know that we are never the only one feeling floppy and sloppy.) Also, she wasn't letting her situation bring her down. Direct quote: "Instead I decided it's time to just get going! It's time to get moving!" PREACH. Turned my day right around. It's almost like God likes to speak to us through other people.
While there are some situations we can't change and floppy sloppy feelings we can't stop, we can't let that inhibit us from living like Jesus is alive. Because he is.
How we feel doesn't change who Jesus is.
SO WE JUST GOTTA GET MOVING.
Happy Sunday y'all.
