still in Chile

Hey guys. Don't worry. I'm still in Chile. But actually, you should worry because I'm never leaving.

The past 5 days:

I showed up at the orientation hotel at 7am the day the program began. Everyone on the group flight wasn't supposed to show up until 11am so I was thinking that I would probably have to sit in the lobby and cry for all four hours until my fellow humans arrived. BUT NOPE. The desk man took me right back to my room where I lied in a BIG, COMFY BED for 4 hours and pooped in a PRIVATE BATHROOM twice without having to pay money to get in. After two weeks of staying in hostels and three nights in a row of sleeping on buses I was soaking up every minute of my new diva life.

And then all of a sudden there was ~40 people my age in the hotel and I was obsessed with all of them. My program directors are also a gift from the God above. Luis is the big man in charge. He wore the same mint button down shirt and black scarf both days of orientation and I love him. Brenda is an actual angel who somehow has every possible detail about all 40 of us memorized. It might be the most impressive part about the country of Chile. And Jorge is just Jorge and that's all you need to know.

I said I would never bumble around Chile with 40 Americans but I absolutely lied. I bumbled on night one. 20 of us went to a club the first night and we were so obnoxious that the bouncers made sure to put us on the private top floor ALONE. I asked the DJ to play my favorite Daddy Yankee song about 12 times and he never did and I'm still offended about that.

My home stay is the best thing that has ever happened to Chilean Jansen. Marjorie, my mom, is a 36-year-old single mom who runs the world. I also have a 9-year-old little brother named Francisco who sometimes talks to me when he's not playing video games. Oh and one time we played basketball. We live in an apartment in Providencia where I have my own room and my OWN BATHROOM. Great water pressure in the shower. Also the biggest worry I had about my home stay before I got here was what the pillows on my bed would be like. As a frequent tummy sleeper, I CAN'T STAND FLUFFY PILLOWS. I really just love a nice, flat surface to lay my head at night. MY PILLOWS COULD NOT BE MORE PERFECT AND FLAT. I really really really love Marjo because she likes to swear a lot and also has never cooked anything that I wasn't obsessed with. She laughs almost as much and as loud as I do and we never stop cracking jokes. She's wild. Just tonight she told me about the time that she accidentally shit her pants in an elevator. My home stay could not be more different from what I pictured but I could not be more pleased. I LOVE THEM BOTH SO MUCH AND I'VE ONLY KNOW THEM FOR 5 DAYS HELP I'M NEVER LEAVING.

My first Friday night in Chile: My social b-fly mom had her friends over for a dinner party. She made ginger pisco sours and pad thai. I didn't understand 95% of the dinner conversation because Chileans talk really fast and give them some alcohol AND THEY TALK FASTER. I salsa danced in my living room with a man with dreads. His name was Esteban. He's a photographer/publicist and has the hook-up for VIP parties and free drinks. Do you think he'll let in a Christian girl that taps out at 2 drinks and can't dance seriously ever? I hope so. I finally retreated to my room at 1:43 AM. The next morning I found out they raged until 5am. My life will never be the same.

Yesterday I explored one part of Santiago with some pals from my program. We found a fruit/veggie market AND I ATE A CLEMENTINE THAT ALMOST REPLACED JESUS IN MY HEART. Literally the fruit here is like nothing I have ever tasted before. IT IS SO DAMN GOOD. Everyone needs to come to Chile and eat the fruit before they die. And in October when we get deep into the fruit season my mom told me fruit is cheaper than anything and that I can buy a box of berries for $1. ONE DOLLAR FOR BERRIES. I'm also drowning in avocados here. It's on everything and so so cheap. Jesus is real.

Also last night I got in the car with a stranger and ended up at a Chilean house party. Remind me to never let my kids study abroad.

But better than the Chilean house party, I went to CHURCH this morning and it was so special and wonderful and wow Jesus is real. LITERALLY HE IS SETTING ME UP HERE. Much more to say about that at a later date. I spent the rest of the day at my Abuela's house in the suburbs of Santiago. She is just as crazy as my mom and she speaks Spanish so fast but I'm starting to get the hang of their extreme speed. Shout out to the human brain for that one. I also spent some time behind the counter of the mini market my mom's cousin owns. It was SO South American. Just this little hole in the wall market where all the neighborhood folk come in to buy fresh bread, 3 liter sodas, and cigarettes. I really had one of those "how did I get here" moments sitting behind the counter. Life is so funny.

ALSO PEOPLE HERE ARE THE NICEST HUMANS. Here's some examples of weird happenings because people are so nice.

1. I took an overnight bus by myself back to Santiago from La Serena. First the man sitting behind me offered me a blanket. I kindly accepted. About twenty minutes later, the bus attendant TAPPED ME AWAKE to offer me two more blankets. I must have looked really cold and helpless or something idk.

2. They love to affirm my Spanish skills even when I only say as much as "buenas dias". Taxi drivers also love to put on Don Omar or Daddy Yankee when I mention that I love them.

3. A couple offered me a beer while I was walking down the street. Might have been more weird than nice.

Other important things:

1. For lunch on day two I had my first completo--a classic Chilean item. It's a hot dog. But like huge. Gigantic actually. Except for it's actually only about 10% hot dog, 20% bun, 10% strange liquidy avocado, and 60% mayonnaise. Still not sure how I feel about them.

2. One day I came home and was greeted with 3 greasy homemade cheese empanadas after not eating anything all day except for 2 clementines, a few french fries, and a beer. I could eat those empanadas for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the rest of my life and never look back.

3. My dread locked salsa partner Esteban and his friend found out my middle name is Rose and they insisted I introduce myself as "Yessica Rosa" from now on. I've tried it out a few times and man it's a hit with the Chileans. ALSO LOOKS LIKE I FOUND MY LATINA POP STAR NAME.

4. Really starting to get the hang of the bus and metro system here. I've navigated myself alone to different places on 3 separate occasions already. And one of those times I only had to ask 4 separate people which bus I had to take to get to my metro stop. I also have a ghetto phone here with a REAL CHILEAN PHONE NUMBER. So like yeah I am that city bitch texting on her cell phone while navigating public transport. Get @ me.

5. I'm also cheating Chile's economy. My first night here I accidentally didn't bring enough money out and only paid 1,000 pesos for a 3,500 peso drink. FOR THE RECORD THE BARTENDER ACCEPTED THAT AMOUNT KNOWINGLY. I also got let onto the bus without paying (twice) because I ran out of money on my Bip! card. I'm so sorry Chile. But you know who's really scraping by is the STREET DOGS. One dog got on and off the bus with us without paying a dime! But lol because nothing's funnier than the fact that I saw a street dog use public transportation.

6. Also taking the metro to church this morning there was a guy very openly singing a Sugar Ray song VERY LOUDLY that was also playing VERY LOUDLY through his headphones. And then I kid you not another guy started singing along to his music. So yeah I was surrounded by two people singing two separate songs--both off key--on public transport. Bless the Sabbath.

7. Also this quote has been rocking my world this week: "I believe that God is making all things new. I believe that Christ overcame death and that pattern is apparent all through life and history: life from death, water from a stone, redemption from failure, connection from alienation. I believe that suffering is part of the narrative, and that nothing really good gets built when everything's easy. I believe that loss and emptiness and confusion often give way to new fullness and wisdom". From a book called Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist. What a woman.


I dedicate this blog post to Claire Shannon and Allie Davis. This post only has about 40% of what I'd like to share but you can thank them for pressuring me to post TONIGHT. Also don't tell my mom and dad about the house party. Gonna go hang out with Jesus now. Bye everyone.

LIVE FROM CHILE

JANSEN HERE REPORTING LIVE FROM LA SERENA, CHILE. I've been out of the American game for 14 days now and I have lots to share. Like a lot. Very detailed information that maybe like 5 of you will actually care about. But I'm doing it for those 5! And for 27 year old Jessica Jansen to read later and reminisce on. Vamos. 

Did NOT enjoy saying goodbye to my mom and dad at the airport. Mostly because John Jansen insists on escorting me as far as he can go without getting yelled at by airport security and then will stand at that spot until he can't see me anymore. I had to hold back the waterworks the entire security line because their goodbye meant that I was really saying sayonara to everyone and everything I know and love and am comfortable with for 4.5 months. YES I KNOW IM A BABY BECAUSE 4.5 MONTHS ISN'T EVEN LONG. And that I'll have to get used to it if I ever wanna live the *~missionary life~*. Baby steps, y'all. But then I remembered that Jesus comforts us in our sorrows because I had an entire 3 seat row to myself for the 14 hour flight. I spent 12 of those hours using all 3 of them. And to think I had regretted not requesting a window seat. An aged Spencer Pratt look-alike sat across the aisle from me. We kept making awkward eye contact because I never stopped staring at him. Spitting image. WHERE WAS HEIDI. 

Also, a second s/o to Jesus: The last few days before my departure I started to get pretty nervy/anxious about the whole leaving the country forever thing. Was especially high-stress the morning of. I had all my prayer squads praying for me and I was talking to Jesus overtime. When I sat down in the gate to get on the plane, overwhelming peace and confidence hit me like a tidal wave. So thx to all mah saints for keeping me in your thoughts. 

14 hours later give or take I landed in Santiago, Chile and successfully navigated my way ALONE to my pal Cadi's house 6 hours away which left me feeling like a v independent woman. The sun was rising over the Andes as I drove out of Santiago and I was just sitting there nice and greasy and rugged on the bus with this stupid smile on my face. Just reaaaally felt like I was right where I was supposed to be. But OOH for all you praying types: This is gonna be four months away from real school, work, and leading Young Life. BASICALLY I REALIZED GODS GIVEN ME A LONG ASS SABBATICAL AND IM NOT TRYNA WASTE IT. Pray that I use this time to seek Jesus's big beautiful face and his purpose for me being here. Why yes, I absolutely will selfishly exploit this blog for my own prayer requests. 

Anywho, I got off the bus in Coquimbo and waited at the station for my trusty pal Cadi to come pick me up. Apparently when you're 5'10", albino, blonde, and have blue eyes you get stared at a lot here. Can't quite figure out why. People would walk by and comment on the "solita rubia" or the "blonde all alone". I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING PEOPLE. 

Finally Cadi came to my rescue and took me to her Chilean beach mansion and wow I immediately fell in love with her nasaly beagle. Also her entire family are the most wonderful and welcoming people in the entire world. They took me to a picada (what Chileans call the small family restaurants all over the place) and bought me my first drink as an unofficial 21 year old. Pisco sours man, they'll get ya. 

Oh btw, Cadi. Caroldiana Schneider. Born in Chile and raised by abalone farming American parents. Cadi and I met when she moved to California to go to college. She wasn't raised in a religious family but went to a private Catholic school in Chile because everyone goes to Catholic school in Chile. But lol she was so opposed to the idea of God that she was the only one in her class who refused to take communion. And she loved frustrating the religion class teachers with her hard questions and pride in her atheism. She became a Christian her sophomore year of college and now she's obsessed with Jesus. LOL THERE HE GOES AGAIN. She is a recent Cal Poly grad who majored in psychology and now wants to get her masters in trauma to open a restoration home in India for victims of sex trafficking. In her free time she enjoys sleeping on cardboard outside in Compton and being used by Jesus to physically heal people through prayer in the Tenderloin of San Francisco. She also looks just like me and people constantly ask us if we are sisters or twins. So you can imagine how well we blended in with the Peruvians. 

The 2 of us accidental Jesus lovers left the next morning to begin the pilgrimage to Peru. Which started with two 12 hour bus rides back to back and then a third 6 hour long ride. PERU 2014 NO REGRETS. 

By the time we got to Arequipa we were beyond excited to get off the buses and ready to get weird. That night mama got her first real taste of being in the country. We went to dinner and got Arequipeña cervezas and put up a cheers to the real start of our trip. Next came our soup. MINE HAD A FULL CHICKEN CLAW IN IT. But Cadi got a chicken claw AND a chicken penis in hers. Some girls are so lucky. I had a large craving for ice cream after a full tummy of chicken claw soup so we got some. You know how when you taste test different flavors in the states they give you a new spoon every time? Nope, not in Peru. They just ask for your slobbery salivated on used spoon back and dip it into the next flavor you wanna try. What are health codes? LOVE IT PERU. LOVE IT. 

We found our hostel for the night by asking our taxi man to take us to one cheap and close to the Plaza de Armas. Our hostel didn't end up being cheap or close to the plaza but it did end up being 5 buildings down from a church. Great job Jesus. So the next morning we went to church and it was so special and magical. All the women in the world came up to us and hugged and kissed us on our cheeks and made us feel SO welcome. The worship was a rock show for Christ. I'm talking guitar, drums, choreographed dancers, the whole deal. One of the songs had a part where everyone spun in a circle during the chorus. Watching the 75 year old woman in front of me spin in a circle while singing to Jesus was my entire heart. THEY ALSO HAD A SKIT AND A TRADITIONAL DANCE WITH OUTFITS AND EVERYTHING. We watched 7 people say yes to Jesus at the end and it was SO SPECIAL. Praying that they continue to say yes. The service was very different from what I'm used to.  Learning to embrace our huge God and the ways different cultures respond to him. I mean WHY SHOULDN'T WE HAVE CHOREOGRAPHED DANCERS AT CHURCH.

After the service we were walking to get breakfast and an older man coming from church too spotted us behind him and got so excited waving to us that he slightly fell off the curb. Just this old sweet friendly spanish speaking man in his Sunday best walking down the street holding his Bible. That's the stuff that warms my heart right there. 

We ended up getting breakfast in a café looking out on the Plaza de Armas and watched a large group of Arequipeñas all doing a traditional dance in celebration of the holiday together out in the square. Te amo Peru, te amo.

After bfast we took a city tour like a couple of 52 year olds in matching Teva sandals. And the worst  part was we were actually wearing matching Teva sandals. Even though we were with a large group of bumbling tourists I loved it because it took us to the outskirts of town where we got a better picture of life for the people there. Which is what interests me most anyways. And we saw alpacas. So that was cool. 

The next morning two white girls get on a Peruvian bus. First of all, the bus looked like it was from 1962. Good thing I love being driven on cliff edges for 6 hours on 50 passenger buses from 1962. Before we leave, the busman walks through the aisle with a video camera to film everyone's faces in case anyone wants to pull any funny business (like hijacking the bus and killing us all, I guess lol). So at this point I was feeling really safe. About an hour in I watched a man pee into a plastic grocery bag. And then hold that plastic bag on his lap for the next 2 hours. Maybe he did that because stopping at a "rest stop" looks like the bus pulling to the side of the road and all the Peruvians piling out and taking squats together. Maybe the pee-bag man was just embarrassed to squat on the road SO HE JUST DID IT ON THE BUS INSTEAD. I have so much to learn from this country. In the meantime, another man sold vials of healing blood (demonstration included) and the majority of the bus riders bought them. Also I was getting SO MAD because it was 10,000 degrees on the bus and everyone was wearing 2 alpaca sweaters and a beanie. WHY ARENT YOU ALL SWEATING. When we finally got to Puno and exited the bus I only had to walk past one girl throwing up on the bus floor. I swear I am not exaggerating any of this. All part of God's beautiful world.

Tangent: Love love love Peru and it's people and it's culture but this specific bus ride was pretty eye opening. It's just so different than what I'm used to. Not better or worse. Just different. We drove through some pretty desolate towns. I was really reminded like ok this a third world country. And if I ever were to actually move to Peru or another third world country it would be no joke. And it would be really hard. And gosh darn if I ever actually do it it will be 100% by strength from the Lord. Which is absolutely terrifying because that could be as soon as July (!!!) which is also absolutely exciting. Tangent over.

So in case you all didn't know there's manmade floating islands in Peru and I know this because WE SLEPT ON ONE. These islands were built by the Uru people in order to escape attack from the Incas. "Hey those Incans are pretty wild. Let's just build an island in the middle of Lake Titicaca so they can't get us." GOOD THINKIN PEOPLE OF URU. Loved hangin w/ u guys. We were the only people there who didn't live on the island full time. Also the only ones who didn't speak their language, Aymara. They served us fresh trout with the eyeball still in place (really easing into my taste for fish here) and rice and papas fritas with this spicy green sauce that rocked my effing world. Cadi and I are officially declaring the islands as the new 10-40 window and we'd like to return to preach the Gospel and sleep in our reed hut once again. 

Also, v weird happenings on the islands. We were packing up in our reed hut and Cadi randomly asked one question out of our "4,000 questions for getting to know anyone and everyone" book YES I BROUGHT IT AND I LOVE IT about how you handle situations when they don't go as planned. We both admitted that we're not very good with it and we'd like to do better. About 15 minutes later, OUR SITUATION DIDNT GO AS PLANNED. As if God watched us answer that question and was like "oh great let's work on that then". We were getting really sad and bitter our plan didn't work out but then we were like HELLO what question did we just read. Then we lol'ed at God and lol'ed at how silly we were and felt better about everythinh. 

Onward to Cusco. Our first night in Cusco was one of my favies. Me and Cadi accidentally talked about Jesus for 3 hours over a hot plate of alpaca meat. Literally for 3 hours we just got going discussing theology (how you understand/interpret God as he is revealed in the Bible) and challenged each other on topics we disagreed on. AND IT WAS A ROCKIN GOOD TIME. Man, that stuff is so interesting. Nothing wrong with some healthy disagreement folks. And NOTHING wrong with asking questions. Let's get better at both of those things. And not forget that all that stuff is secondary to the fact that Jesus died for us, conquered death for us, and is now living + breathing + moving with us. CAN I GET AN AMEN. 

The next morning we headed off to Aguas Calientes, the town that you access Machu Picchu from. Instead of paying $150 for a short taxi ride and a relaxing train ride with pleasant scenery we paid $35 for a 6 hour long van ride on a cliff edge and a BEAUTIFUL 2.5 hour walk on train tracks through literally the most beautiful scenery ever. Always tryna save a buck for some queso helado. At one point on the cliff death ride we approached a bridge thousands of feet up in the air and I thought "hmm what a nice rickety homemade bridge with no rails for pedestrians" until our van took a sharp Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland turn and I realized IT'S FOR US and luckily we made it across safely before I even had time to cry. But really, our nature walk was glorious and I was just blessing the feet of Jesus the entire time for being big enough to make a world so incredible and also personal enough to listen to anything and everything I say to him. 

8 days into the trip the day for Machu Picchu FINALLY ARRIVED. Mama was most excited for this. I always said I would see Machu Picchu with my husband but that husband doesn't exist and this single, independent woman is in Peru and doing it. Sorry future Mr. Jessica Jansen, maybe next time. We made it to Machu by 7am and started our tour. I had a weird crush on our tour guide. He was probably 5'5" and 32 years old but he was just very sweet and wore a fedora and kept saying "looks, guys" and "looks at this, guys" and "we go for to see the temple". Maybe he's my future husband. BOY WOULD THAT BE A TWIST. After our v interesting history lesson (the Incas are literally the smartest people) Cadi and I embarked on our Machu Picchu Mountain hike. We weren't sure what to expect but don't worry it quickly turned into me destroying my entire body. It literally was 1 hour and 45 minutes of going straight up. But the only reason it was hard was because of the high altitude, our lack of sleep, and the fact that all we had eaten was 4 pieces of white bread and a slice of ham. Oh and a small orange that our hostel mates (a mom and her 12 year old son) had given us because they saw us at Machu and are just GENEROUS AND WONDERFUL and wanted to give us their oranges. Anyways the hike being hard had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that my workout regimen for the ENTIRE summer consisted of 2 runs and 1 and a half zumba classes. So like ya definitely not because I'm out of shape. 

If I had to do a terrain analysis of the hike I would say it was 4% flat ground with rocks jutting out, 61% impossibly steep rock steps that were very uneven and couldn't fit my size 10 foot on them which led to a lot of uncomfortable side stepping, and 35% of those same rock steps except on a cliff edge with not a lot of room for error. So here we are 20 minutes into this death hike and I get to the top of a staircase and LOCK EYES WITH A JUNGLE BEAR. WHAT ARE BEARS DOING IN THE JUNGLES OF PERU. We turned right around and waited it out letting a couple other potential bear victims pass warning them of their fate until we worked up the courage to move forward. Happy to inform that there was not another jungle bear sighting. 

Fast forward through an hour and 25 minutes of not being able to breathe and we made it to heavens gates. I kid you not. We were in the sky. Surrounded by mountains and parallel with snow topped peaks. WE WERE THAT HIGH IN THE MOUNTAINS. Literally in the clouds. Something that awful had never been so worth it. There were probably 15 of us humans at the top. And it was silent. We were spread out all sitting in silence just taking in da surroundings. There was just this sense of awe and worship. I find it fascinating that all people have a natural tendency to worship. Whether people were meditating, thanking Jesus, or just feeling the need to stay silent and breathe the mountain air--it was all worship. And I believe it's because humans are hard-wired to do so. Pretty special moment 3,082 meters up in the air. 

Other lessons I took away from the death hike: 

1. People are just the best. This trail is full of people from all over the world who speak all different languages and yet everyone coming down the trail was doing their best to encourage the people going up. I'm telling you, everyone NEEDED it. This trail was a real doozy. 

2. I find it so fascinating that humans find comfort in each other. Like if it was just Cadi and I on that death bear and ankle breaking trap ridden trail running low on water I would have been PANICKED. But because I knew all these other humans were in it with us I was a-ok. If you don't know me, you'll soon realize I have a deep reverence for my fellow humans. 

3. It's good to challenge ourselves from time to time. About 5 minutes into the hike Cadi and I both realized it was the last thing on planet earth we wanted to do right then. But we kept going. We knew we should. So we did. And man, we felt so effing accomplished. Important to do that for ourselves once in a while. 

And 2 other realizations on this day:

1. I am so thankful for this opportunity to be abroad and be in new places. And I know without a doubt that this is what I'm supposed to be doing for right now. But the traveling vagabond life is not for me. The part of life I value most is relationships with people. And it's hard to enjoy that part of life when you're packing up and moving every day. Although these 2 weeks have been GR8 time to get to know my sweet Caroldiana. But I'm just saying--if I had to choose one place to be for the rest of my life it would be at the dinner table with my best friends. Not Machu Picchu. Even as sexy as Machu Picchu might be. 

2. The last few days of our trip we had been just a couple of real tourist gals. Which is gr8 and fun but it definitely has it's place. My favorite moments here are the times I don't feel like a tourist (aka like at the church in Arequipa). Or when I'm watching two little girls share candy sitting on the curb while their mom sells stuff to people driving by in traffic. Or when we're chatting to Uru villagers that pulled up to the island in their boat to grab a gallon of gas. THAT'S THE PART OF TRAVEL I LIKE. Which is why I feel so inclined to move abroad, not just travel. AND which is why if I ever go to Mexico it's gonna be with my Mexican pals Chuy and Vicky (shout out to you Chu if you're working on your English reading this right now!) 

Other things:

1. Nothing has been more embarrassing than syringing food out of my wisdom tooth holes in the bus stop bathrooms. Dental care isn't one of Peru's strengths. So many confused looks. I have never felt like a bigger diva. 

2. So many women walk around in the traditional Peruvian clothing. Look 4 pics on my fb. I LOVE the outifts. Peruvian ladies are lookin' fly. But it's just such an interesting mix of old and new culture. 

3. Dawgs everywhere. Really missing all my doggy pals (Jack, Riley, Maggie, and Coral) back in the states. Luv u guys. 

4. Peruvians have a very distinct look. Their faces. It's just so distinct.  

5. It's chill to have your kids at work. It's even chill to have your boobs out feeding them while you're at work. Pretty cool. 

6. TOILET PAPER IS SUCH A COMMODITY. I once held a poop for 18 hours because every baño we had gone to didn't have toilet paper and I kept forgetting to buy some. Can't blame anyone but myself for that one. 

7. There's this one really strange game show that everyone's obsessed with. They even watch old episodes on YouTube. Which made me realize that I can't leave Chile without being on a Chilean game show. Cadi knows just the one I need to apply for so we are gonna be sending that email very soon. 

8. Because Cadi is Chilean she speaks Spanish with a Chilean accent. Which means I can't understand anything she says. She pronounces "vamos" as "amo". CADI YOU FORGOT THE V AND THE S. Instead of forgetting how to speak English I might just never speak again. 

9. Jesus is everywhere. I mean like hanging on rearview mirrors, on the back of buses, in statue form on hilltops, in stores, in restaurants, in hostels, EVERYWHERE. It's almost such a cultural thing that people are desensitized to who he truly is. Cadi, for example, grew up with Jesus everywhere and went to Catholic school and yet knew nothing about him. Praying that we can all become more aware of Jesus as a revolutionary God who saves and brings hope and is interested in us and not just as the guy who's picture is on the wall. 

10. Realized I'm gonna miss being called Jansen. Including the more intimate/endearing forms (Jansey, Jans). WHO WILL CALL ME THAT HERE. No one because I never introduce myself as that. 

11. Also it is so fun and surprising to hear my favorite Spanish songs that I normally only hear under my Spotify playlist "shakira > everything" on the radio. People actually listen to this stuff which is so GREAT. Finally people that understand me. 

12. Getting as far as Aguas Calientes and back we spent a total of 92 hours on buses/vans. I know it sounds like everyone's nightmare. But it was the cheapest we could get to Peru without planning ahead and it wasn't even bad ! ! ! I'm actually grateful for it because we drove through towns and farmlands and ways of life I would have never seen had we flown. We drove through some pretty real poverty too. Which was a real eye opener. And important. 

13. Wouldn't have wanted to do this with anyone but Cadi. She points me to Jesus 24/7. She also does a great job of reminding me that the Holy Spirit is a thing. Like wow Jesus does incredible things through us if we just let him. And because we don't have exactly the same faiths it was so great to learn from and encourage each other in different areas. Ugh. Love you boo boo :-* Move to Santiago with me. 

14. Also so glad to be sitting in Cadi's living room reunited with her nasaly dog and writing this with hot tea in my hand and my clothes in the laundry. 

15. The weirdest part about all of this is that I did this big trip but I'm not coming home. Like I'm just back in Chile after all this. FOR 4 MORE MONTHS. I can just kiss those In-N-Out fantasies goodbye. 

Congratulations on making it to the end of this post. I love you all a lot.

Brb, gonna go start school and move in with some Chileans. Bye. 

The Final Moments Before I Move to Chile and Forget How to Speak English

So if you read my last post, you know that I became really obsessed with Jesus my freshman year of college. That's what happens to everyone in college, right?

"That's great and cool, Boycrazy. I'm so happy you met the Caucasian Christ Jesus. But then what happened? Did you stop wearing a push-up bra?" Tell me that was your exact wording. Tell me it was.

So I guess that's what this blog is for. To exploit my *~life with jesus~* and what that looks like on the internet. (Claire, help. I can't stop doing *~that~*.)

Here's a few snapshots of my time in San Clemente these past few weeks:

I showed up to my brother's house one evening. I pulled into their driveway and was greeted by a naked Rylee Rae. I walked into the house and the other niece was naked too. Life is good. Also, Rylee and I went on our first date because WE CAN GO ON REAL DATES NOW AND TALK ABOUT REAL THINGS because she's two and a half years old. I paid.

I went surfing. Ask me how many waves I caught. I caught one wave. Ask me if I had a great time. ABSOLUTELY. A note on surfing in California: In Central California, it's kind of my nightmare. I mean I do it, but mostly just as a self-assessment of how long I can fight for my life. In Southern California it's ACTUALLY fun. You can actually sit in the SUN (sry Morro Bay) and wait for waves peacefully on your board and when a set comes you don't drown. Bless you Southern California.

I got my wisdom teeth removed. There were a lot of tears. And a lot of smoothie running down my face because I couldn't feel myself drinking it. And there was some mouthing of scrambled eggs. But seriously, v grateful for access to medical care. Even if it makes me feel like an infant.

I've watched 30 episodes of Grey's Anatomy since being home. I'm developing a deep emotional attachment to Cristina Yang. Help.

One night my parents came home from Outback with leftover steak. My mom wouldn't let me eat it because it was for the dog. I learned where her loyalty lies.

And then the last few days preparing to leave have just been mostly like this: "Oh no. Tampons cost 8 DOLLARS for a box of 6 in Chile?! I BETTER BRING 70 AMERICAN TAMPONS."

And now--the moment you've all been waiting for--my solo pilgrimage to the north. There's a few stand-out moments I'd like to address:

1. I had the honor of getting to celebrate Caroline's grandma's 90th birthday. Grandma Claire spent the first half of her party watching television alone, but once we got her fired up with a birthday song and a cake filled with 2 lbs. of vanilla custard, GMA CAME ALIVE. All of a sudden she started feeding off the attention of the 8 twenty-something year old girls in the room and wanted to stand up and chat and show us her photo albums. Turns out Gma Claire is one wild and hilarious woman. Once she saw that she was the reason we were all gathered there and that we all saw incredible value in her, she became her true diva self. I had a "wow, what a perfect illustration of the Gospel and what we do in Young Life" moment. It was kewl.

2. The most interesting woman in the world is currently living in the armpit of California. Allie Davis, everyone. A word about Allie: She currently has a warrant out for her arrest in Montana for fly fishing in a pink bikini (this is a true statement). And last week she wrote a rental agreement in Spanish and wire transferred money halfway across the world to a complete stranger. Because she's moving to Spain next month. By herself. One day she's gonna take her big engineering brain to third world countries all over the globe to help develop communities, because that's WJWD. Allie has a lot of faith in humanity, in Jesus, and is a bad bitch. Allie and I look forward to Friday afternoons at Pepe's sipping margaritas and speaking *~spanish only~* with Chuy when we return from our prospective countries in January.

3. WATCHING GRETCHEN AND PATRICK JOIN IN HOLY MATRIMONY. Boy, was that something special. I assumed that going to a wedding would make me want to get married like on Thursday. NOPE. In fact, what it really reminded me of is how big of a commitment marriage is. And how special and wonderful and and beautiful and great it is when it's with the perfect person 4 u. And how big of a part God plays in it all. And how absolutely and completely not ready I am for it. So here's to at least another three years of not talking to boys.

And oh mammograms, I leave for Chile on Wednesday.

1. Can you say big faith test. I started luvin da Lord in San Luis Obispo. And I've lived there ever since. WHAT IF I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN ANYWHERE ELSE.

2. But I really feel like I'm supposed to be there. Jesus has just been slamming doors open left and right for me down there. And I'm not even there yet ! ! ! No fluffing idea what he has in store for Chilean Jansen but I'm V V V V excited to find out.

3. I'm actually gonna try to forget how to speak English.

4. In 48 hours I'll be landing in Santiago alone and trying to figure out how to take a bus to my pal's house 6 hours away. With all my luggage. On no sleep. In Spanish. PRAYERS PLZ.



Obligatory Disclaimer: Let's realize that I leave the northern hemisphere soon. I might fall for some latin lover at the salsoteca and never touch this blog again. And if I do touch this blog again, please don't be offended if the quality of my writing takes a hit. THIS STUFF DOESN'T WRITE ITSELF AND IT TAKES TIME, OK.

Bye everyone.

in a rltshp w/ Jesus

Hi, I'm Jessica. And I have a relationship with Jesus Christ.

For all you dedicated blog followers who don't know my story, I'll give you a quick run-down. Because you deserve to know about the most important life decision I ever made. (And continue to make. Turns out accepting Jesus isn't a one time thing, lol.)

My freshman year of college started like this: WHAT THE HELL DO I BELIEVE IN? IS THERE A GOD? SOMEONE HAND ME THAT $10 HANDLE OF SVEDKA BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT I BELIEVE IN.

And for four months, I tried to figure myself out. I tried to figure my faith out. I read a lot of Christian stuff. I read a lot of Mormon stuff. I read a lot of anti-Christian, and anti-Mormon stuff. I even dipped my literary toes in Buddhism and Hinduism and Islam and Judaism stuff.

And by a weird chain of coincidences (coincidences. yeah, right.) I started going to Young Life leader meetings.

And that's where I met some really wonderful people who loved God and who loved life. And I met a wise, wise sage named Johnny May who knows a lot about a lot of things. And a lot about why he believes in what the Bible says about who God is.

For four months I'd go to Young Life leader meetings on Wednesdays, and on the weekends get drunk and steal 'I Love Jesus' shot glasses from parties. I really wish that last part wasn't true. I really, really do. GRACE ABOUNDS Y'ALL.

I was hurting, you guys. It was the hardest four months of my entire life. But ask anyone that was around me during these four months, and they would probably have no idea any of this was happening. #confessions

Finally at the end of those four months I cried on top of a hill and told God that I'd seen enough. I believed in Jesus and what he's doing in the world. And that if he's in then I am too. But only if he's really in. And I told him I couldn't do it alone. And that I was ready to take da leap of faith. But if he wasn't there to catch me that I would be PISSED.

AND LET ME TELL YOU, JESUS HELD UP HIS END OF THE BARGAIN.

And that was it folks. That was the moment I said eff da police I'm following Jesus.

Let's make this clear, I never got all my answers. It's not like at the end of those 4 months I was suddenly like, "Oh duh! It makes PERFECT sense that we're all sinners and God came down to earth and became flesh and then died on a cross and rose from the dead and now I'm set free." It still makes almost no sense to me. But it makes enough. And then this really cool thing called faith has to come in and fill in the blanks.

And besides, getting all the answers isn't what I needed to propel me into the arms of Jesús Cristo. Sure, there's plenty of historical evidence and archaeological blah blah blah that uniquely makes Christianity not something you have to accept with blind faith (And all of it is V INTERESTING, for another blog post). But what intrigued me was being accepted and welcomed into a stranger's home. It was being loved by a group of people who had a supernatural love pouring into them. It was from hearing stories about how God was actively moving in people's lives. (Johnny May's story is actually ridiculous. God is real.) It was from seeing how Jesus is relevant to our lives now, two thousand years later. It was from experiencing Jesus by sharing meals and laughing with people. It was feeling like I had finally found something that could fill this hole in my heart that I was trying everything in the book to fill. It was the Holy Spirit who changed my heart and gave me eyes to see the reality of God's love for us. And that's the best answer I can give. Words are hard, when it comes to this.

Put in simpler terms, deciding to follow Jesus is like pooping. When it's time, you know it's time. You can't explain why you have the urge, or what it's gonna look like when it happens, but you do it anyways.

I am so sorry for that. ^

Obligatory Sidenote: There's so much more to this story than I'm able to put here. So please, take this blog post for what it is. A blog post. Not the '14th Edition Newly Revised Autobiography of How Jansen Came To Faith in Jesus: Now Including All Details, Reasons, Questions, and Thoughts About How She Became a New Woman'.

We've only scraped the tip of the iceberg here, people.